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  • From Steve Jobs:
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

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Our boys

May 28, 2008

Happy to be here

Once upon a time, I was much more of a phone person than I am now. Brian would sometimes tease me after a long phone chat with Angie or one of my sisters and say, "What on earth could you two have talked about for that long? You just talked to each other yesterday!"

But that was exactly why we had something to talk about---because we did it often. We knew each other's cast of characters and the background to the stories, so we could (and still can) share the little things (that are really the big things) that would require too much back-story to make them worth sharing with friends whom we called less frequently.

Today I feel the impossibility of bring this site up to speed with the past couple of weeks, because both nothing and everything happened.

M D & H

First, my baby sister, who is about to have her own first baby, visited with her husband. They were both glowing in that magical state of anticipation. Aidan enjoyed having a whole bench of fans at his T-ball game, and Sean loved all the extra attention. Nolan fell asleep on Mimi's pregnant belly, and I couldn't help picturing the little cousin sleeping within, the two of them wrapped on each side of Mimi, like a little yin/yang symbol.

Splish splash pool

Then Angie's family of five came for an all-too brief visit. Despite the short length, it was packed full with waterplay and splashing in the kiddie pool, summer pasta salad with a BBQ and morning waffles, late night chats and a game of hearts. Sitting outside watching our kids playing together, Angie turned to me and said, "This is the moment we used to talk about in college" and I got chills up my spine---we used to hike Sabino Canyon and talk about the day our kids would play together. Of course, in our fantasy we were living next door to each other and this kind of afternoon was a daily occurrence rather than a rare treat, but still, I know how lucky we are.

And the kids do too. When it was time to go, first James and Charlie hid in the tent they'd made out of an air mattress, blankets, and the boys' bunk-beds. Then Aidan threatened to hide in their car. No one wanted to say goodbye. We appeased them with the fact that we'd be traveling to Flagstaff ourselves in a few weeks (now just a few days!) to celebrate Meagan's first communion.

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Just a couple days later my little brother Kevin arrived for a week long visit. I'm 18 years older than Kevin, and even though he has been taller than me for several years now, I still think of him as the sweet 4-yr-old boy he was when I first left home. I think this visit permanently changed that---like it or not, my little brother has grown up. Not only is he taller than me now, he's a man. That makes me want to both cry a little and cheer out loud. It is made much easier to accept by the fact that the man he's become is smart, witty, generous and incredibly good with children. He likes to joke that he's going to wait till he's 50 to have any kids, but I'm not going to put any money on those odds.  

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He's always been good at calming babies, and his nephew with the look-a-like chin was no exception.

I'm filled with that familiar feeling of wishing the world were smaller, that I could shrink part of it so that all my favorite people lived within walking distance. I so wish all these people and more were regular features in the childhood of my children. We pay a big price to live where we do.

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But the payback is awesome as well.








One of the best things about having visitors is that it gets you exploring your own backyard.

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Our two explorers want to live here. Living less than 5 minutes away from here isn't good enough.

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Bri confronted a guy who was etching his name into the rock. Can you believe that?!? There aren't enough graffiti-filled places to visit, you need to add some to a National Park? Yeah, I still haven't quite gotten over that one.

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Neither have I fully gotten over watching my son fly into the air at the annual Art Fair in town. Sure there was a trampoline below him, and cables attached to him, but my heart was still pounding as I was watching him go higher and higher.  Lucky for Aidan, everyone ignored my requests to not give him the full treatment, and Aidan loved it. First thing he said when he was safely on the earth again and saw me: "Did you die watching me?" This was said with an enormous grin that makes me more than a little nervous for the future.


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Nor am I over the phone call I received on Monday that this little stinker had eaten a paintball while at the park with friends.

Turns out paintballs aren't poisonous, and it didn't get stuck in his airway or puncture his intestines or cause him to go into shock in any way.

It did however cause me to feel faint at the idea that he might need to have his stomach pumped, or worse. He was in great hands and returned to me safe and sound, but every momma has that feeling, "If only I'd been there..." It was Memorial day and I found myself crying an ugly cry that night for all the mommas who have suffered the unthinkable.

And as a consequence for his poor decision, he's had to deal with my need to hug him tightly at random moments throughout the day ever since.

There was so much sadness in the news this weekend. The toddler lost in the Midwest tornado, those lost in the crazy surf on the coast, and more. I find myself having to turn the radio off, shut off all the possibilities I know are out there, and just focus on here and now.

Which is why I'm posting, instead of sleeping, which is what I really need. I want to remember the joy of having my brother read A Movable Feast while here, about how I lost every bet I made with him (who would believe Truly Madly Deeply is unavailable on Netflix? Even if your reliable brother tells you so. That's crazy. Go add it to your queue right now and maybe if more people do, they'll finally get it), how great he was during unavoidable embarrassing new-mom-moments, and how crazy he thinks I am to dislike McDonalds with a passion but to love their straws.

I want to remember the way Aidan announced that this was "the best Saturday ever" as he sat down to the big breakfast Brian had made. And the way he read WALL-E aloud to us, and would get words he had no business knowing how to read and then stumble over a word like "there". Playing with Kevin's matchbox cars on the floor. Taking care of his three after-school "jobs" (putting away his shoes, cleaning out his lunch box, and washing his hands) before he devours a snack as big as dinner and then says he is still hungry.

The way Sean wakes up from his nap all sweaty and his hair all curly. His patience in the big city yesterday while I nursed Nolan in our car, in the Target parking lot. His continued patience when Nolan then filled his diaper the way babies do and we had to all go back into the store to clean him up, only to have him then explode again once everyone was in their car-seats. I ended up changing that diaper on the floor of the minivan. Sean just entertained himself through it all, singing his made-up song "Al's Toy Barn" and asking me random questions like, "Mommy, where's our green car?" (the Subaru we sold 4 months ago).

Laughing with Brian during what had to be the funniest idea on "The Office" yet:

Kevin



"I work with numbers."









And 101 other snapshots I only took with my brain. I'm grateful for this little space in which to capture them. I think we're caught up now, or at least close enough. Glad to be back.

April 23, 2008

Sean at Three

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When people tell him that he is oh so cute (and people do, constantly), he always answers, "Yeah."

Like he already knows it. I think he's known since he was an infant.

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He gets excited about everything. Watering plants, taking a walk, bringing in the mail. The most mundane of tasks can cause him to break into a little jig of excitement. I love that.

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I see much of my dad in him---the way he loves to tell stories, and has the most incredible memory, and enjoys life so much.

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Most of the time though, I see his dad in him. Same facial expressions. Same confidence. Same stubbornness. Same physicality and love of action.

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Last summer we spent a lot of time at the nearby waterpark. Sean would walk up to the teens in bikinis and say, "Hi girls."  He's in love with his pal Tava, and at least three other girls. He is very generous with his affection, and can't go to bed without a hug from every family member, and giving us a kiss on each cheek.

Thehighlife2

Most of his sentences these days begin with, "Actually..." He loves to correct others (don't know where he gets that trait...), and no matter who says grace at dinner, he always has to add his own as well. Lately they go something like this: "Grace. Thank  You Lord for this yummy dinner, and for Aidan, and Spiderman. God is good. Amen."

Sean_serious

Because he is so enthusiastic and joyful, it's easy to overlook his serious side. His feelings are easily hurt, but he's also quick to forgive and move on. He's sensitive to tone of voice and others' moods. While he doesn't like anyone else to raise their voice, he's prone to yelling himself and he's very lucky to have a pacifist for an older brother.

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  He adores both his brothers, and imitates everything his big brother does.

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Yesterday he turned three. I'm trying not to hold it against him that he's growing up. He challenges me, delights me, amazes me. Happy Birthday, my little man. I'll forever miss you as a baby and at 1 and at 2, but I can't wait to see who you become.

April 18, 2008

Blessings & Random Notes

Sean_the_big_brother

Sean couldn't be a sweeter big brother, though he often could be a quieter big brother.

Brian_and_nolan

Brian went back to work on Monday, and I was surprised how many people called during the week to check in on how we were doing:-)  I am blessed with good friends.

We were incredibly lucky to have had Brian home for Nolan's first month. He made the decision to take off four weeks after the birth of each of our sons. Priceless. When I think of Aidan, Sean, and Nolan someday becoming fathers like their dad, I feel so good about humanity's future:-)

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Current nicknames for Nolan: cutie-pie, jelly bean, Nolie, and Hic-cup, because he gets them at least once a day.

A very Happy-Mail week. A blanket from my sister Karen who celebrated her birthday this week too. She also sent her very first emails, with help from her speech-pathologist,  and they sounded just like Kay in person. Each one made mention of her birthday--totally cracked me up! 

I received a box full of yellow from one of my favorite people on the planet---a beautiful letter on beautiful yellow paper, with the world's best lemon bars and some yellow jammies, for me not for Nolan:^)

A few weeks ago I asked Molly, from Foothill Home Companion, how she made her pin cushion-in-a-cup.Foothillhomecompanion_2  Photo by Molly Dunham

Instead of just sending the directions, she sent me a cup of my own that arrived this week. Love the kindness of strangers:-) And the sight of this little cup on my sewing table is motivation enough to get all the piles of paper off of it and start learning to sew!

Someone asked where we got Sean's cute tie from this cute photo: Sean_march_08_copy

It's made by Dainty Couture. Check out her etsy store---they are made so well, and super comfortable (I'm going to have to order more because both big boys want to wear it). I actually won it as a giveaway from Kid Haus:-)

By request, I'm deleting the end of this post. So if you're arriving late, you missed out on a very cute photo of one very neurotic girl.

April 11, 2008

Sleep & Scientists

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Overall Nolan is an incredibly easy-going baby.

He likes to nurse (a lot---he gained 2 lbs between his 2 wk appointment and his 4 wk), burp, sleep, gurgle, and slyly smile. He rarely cries, only if his diaper is being changed and oh--if he's not being held. Seriously. Super content guy, but he wants to be held 24/7.  He has been content in his swing or car seat at times, but he has wanted nothing to do with his crib.

And who could refuse him? I love snuggling with him, love the sound of his breathing while he sleeps on my chest, love that baby smell on the top of his head.

But, as you can tell from my last post, the lack of sleep was beginning to get to me.

Then, last night, Nolan slept four hours in his crib.

Of course, being the brilliant parents we are, we finally decided to go to bed ourselves about 3 1/2 hours into those 4 hours. But still, a huge improvement:-)

Meanwhile...I haven't forgotten about our other two guys. Here's my latest favorite photo of Aidan:

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How did I manage to get a six year old to stay still long enough for a non-flash photo with an authentic smile (instead of a "cheese" smile)? By first taking a dozen of photos of him as a mad scientist:

A1_2 A2madscientist 

April 02, 2008

Highlights

An abundance of good things to report:

Easter_eggs

1. Easter goodness is all put away. Monday both boys asked 192,394,375 times if they could have more jelly beans. Monday night Brian took both their baskets off the dining room table and put them in our closet. NO ONE HAS MENTIONED THEM SINCE! I don't know at what age "out of sight, out of mind" will no longer apply to candy, but for now, Brian and I are enjoying it, as well as their jelly beans;-)

Gramare_is_here_32. Brian's mom arrived Saturday evening. You can see their excitement welcoming her. Introducing_nolan_to_gramare

First thing on their agenda: introducing Gramare to their new baby brother.

3. Aidan planned several tricks for April Fools. I thought he'd enjoy being tricked as well so we packed him a lunch of wooden food yesterday. I peeked in the lunch room to watch him open it, only to see him go from an initial reaction of delight and laughter to a little despair and tears (at the thought of no lunch). All was well though when he learned we were all taking him to the diner for lunch:-)

Lesson learned: let them in on the joke at this age.

4. Gramare brought all sorts of crafts for the boys.

Crafts_w_gramare

And she's been great about letting Aidan's imagination lead the way, even when all he wants is a centipede, ala Franny-K-Stein, with shoes and all.

Aidans_centipede

5. Sean went poop on the potty!!!! Yes, this is why I have a blog---so I can share such monumental moments with y'all:-)  Thing is, he was outside playing and completely on his own announced he needed to use the bathroom. Then he repeated this feat later the same day. I was expecting him to revert a bit when Nolan arrived so we were all ecstatic:-)

6. I also have to mention, Nolan finally lost his umbilical cord yesterday. If this were Aidan's blog, you'd have been treated to daily photos of its progress. Both boys found Nolan's cord to be the most fascinating aspect about him (given he's not much of a conversationalist yet). Huge excitement when they heard the news this morning, and an immediate showing of Nolan's new and improved belly button.

Nolan was a bit less impressed.

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7. CUBS had their opening game on Monday. Wrigwrigleyfieldchicagoillinoispo_2  More importantly, their first win will be today (right, boys?!)

This IS the year!

March 30, 2008

Sean the man

After that way-too-wordy post, without a single photo (OY!) here is a recent favorite of Sean. Sean_march_08_copy

March 21, 2008

I think it is safe to say

Sean_and_daddy

the boys

Dad_attack

are enjoying

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having their dad home all day.

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And even with an almost-3-yr-old who thinks he doesn't need a nap,

and a 6-yr-old who spills paint and egg dye and popcorn and just about everything else too,

and a 1-week-old who thinks our bed is the only place fit enough for his sweet slumber,

and a wife who likes to share all her post-cesarean aches and pains while demanding more chocolate please,

Nolan_and_his_dad

even with all that,  and a general lack of sleep, remarkably,

I think he's enjoying these days as well.

So long as we promise to let him go back to work eventually...

March 09, 2008

SIX

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Six things about our baby who turns six today...

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1. He was the world's easiest baby. Seriously. Never spit up (we couldn't understand why infant outfits often came with bibs...Sean clued us in!), slept through the night most of the time, and was always generous with his smiles.

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2. He has always loved being outside. Aidan was a late talker, worrying us a bit at age 2. One of his very first phrases though was, "Outsi pees."

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3. Aidan was so excited to become a big brother. Naturally gentle and generous. There are times when he shakes his head, trying to figure out a two-year-old, and needs time alone, but they are best buddies too.

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4. Aidan has loved books since he was a baby (only then he mostly chewed on them). At his well-child visit this week, the nurse asked him his favorite TV show. I listened, wondering if he'd say "Makeover Home Edition", his Sunday night ritual with his dad, or "Cyberchase" and "Word Girl", his Friday PBS fix.  Instead he said, "Well, they're not shows but they're my favorites. My book about volcanoes and another one about a MAD SCIENTIST!" He proceeded to tell her all about Franny the mad scientist, with big eyes and lots of hand motions:-)

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5. He weighs 48 lbs and is 49" tall. We keep asking him to stay little, but in this area, he refuses to obey us.

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6. Aidan wants to be an astronaut, a chef, an artist, a writer, a fireman, and a mad scientist when he grows up.

Happy Birthday, Aidan! We love you!

(I read this to Aidan before I posted it and his one complaint was that I forgot to add SUPERHERO to the future career list.)

We had a battle of the wills today, of all days. After months of fighting over wearing his winter coat, he now LOVES his winter coat and refuses to wear his lighter jacket. Yes, I know what Love & Logic would advise, but never mind. In the moment, I get very frustrated, wondering what I'm doing wrong---I never would have challenged my parents this way. I'm not being sarcastic. I was the most obedient child on the planet, or at least the second most obedient, with my younger sister Elizabeth winning first, but still---seriously compliant. How can my son who is so much like me challenge me so?

Then, when the storm fades and things are calm again, those challenging moments are my greatest pride as a mother. He knows what he prefers. He feels safe enough to voice it. I'm 32 years older than he is, and still trying to master those two things. I need to be wiser in my choice of battles but it is normal for there to be some battle of wills. Healthy even. I realize everyone else on the planet knew this already, but I need the reminder. So here it is, at the tail-end of this birthday post. Lesson #243 that I'm learning from my son.

March 02, 2008

Star Wars Birthday Bash

51wf35x2biel__bo2204203200_pisitbdp What a difference a few days can make. We didn't make it to the library until the next day, but our librarian had put Not a Stick on hold for Sean without my even asking. Last week, after I explained that someone else had already checked it out, he went up to every kid there, with his chest puffed out, asking, "You take my book Not a Stick?"  Usually I can predict a book that will be a big hit, and then there are surprises like this one that they get attached to. We eventually made it to the book fair as well and Aidan has set aside James and the Giant Peach to finish Lunch Walks Among Us, his first Franny K. Stein, Mad Scientist book. Definitely not the last.

Friday was probably our last dinner out as a family for a long while. I am so easily influenced by the power of suggestion that I ordered a pesto pizza with sliced meatballs at Pasta Jay's after hearing Amy describe her delight in it...ignoring my usual lack of enthusiasm for pesto and dislike for meatballs in general. But---Amy---you were right! Yum:-)  Angie emailed that Meg made the World's Best Chocolate Cake, an old recipe of mine, and now I'm going to have to make that for Aidan's real birthday next Sunday. The frosting is my favorite---recipe at the end of this post.

I'm normally a stickler for not celebrating birthdays early, but Brian is running in a half-marathon next Saturday. In retrospect, having the party a week early was brilliant---such a relief!

Mosaic29276971. Alex, 2. Bubble attack, 3. David, 4. Destroy the DeathStar, 5. Aidan checking out frosting lips, 6. Extra Trans Fat with Toxic blue frosting, 7. Joey, 8. Balloon game, 9. Kayden, 10. Robin aka Sean, 11. Rocket balloon, 12. Pinata, 13. presents, 14. Inflatable light sabers, 15. On guard2

Aidan's favorite game (which he has been reenacting all morning) was freezing his Han Solo action figure in bowl of water, Jabba-the-Hut style, and then freeing him by pouring warm water on the ice block several times. The boys did this outside in a kind of relay race from a bucket of warm water to the ice block---so simple but fun. If they ran too fast or overfilled their bowl, they spilled. We didn't have any teams or winner; they just loved doing it. I'm pretty sure Superman is having a turn in our freezer at this moment.

The #1 key to a great party is that the friends your child chooses to invite be kind and enthusiastic, a winning combination at any age and something all these boys had in common. Seriously makes me feel good about the future.

And the #1 key to staying sane while preparing for a six-year-old party is having a real partner. Brian did so much before, during, and after the party.  Our good friend Kathy stayed and helped throughout as well. What a difference that makes!

Cocoa Cream Frosting: (enough for ONE layer cake)

1/3 cup light cream or evaporated milk

¼ cup soft butter

¼ tsp salt

½ cup unsweetened cocoa (sifted)

1 tsp vanilla or rum extract

3 cups sifted powdered sugar.

Heat cream until bubbles form around edge in a small saucepan. Let cool a little.

In a medium bowl, combine butter, salt, cocoa, vanilla, ¼ cup cream, and 1 ½ cups sugar---mix until smooth.

Gradually add remaining sugar. Beat until smooth and fluffy. If too thick to spread, add a little more hot cream. If too thin, set in a bowl of ice water and beat until thick.

February 04, 2008

Overlooked #2 and a fever

Spinach_dip Anyone want some yummy spinach dip?

I've been craving it ever since Mimi mentioned it weeks ago. But I'm the only one in this house who likes it, so I waited to make it for our friend's Super Bowl party.

And then Aidan woke up with a fever yesterday. He fell asleep on the couch around noon, an unheard of event. No party for us. And there is enough dip for a crowd in the fridge. Someone please help me!

Sean is looking much better today, but poor Aidan looks worse. I'm grateful we were able to get a doctor to look at Sean on Friday---just to rule out ear infections or strep. My heart goes out to parents whose children have real health issues. It breaks your heart to see your kids sick, and I'm grateful we don't have to very often.

The Overlooked Challenge #2 was to photograph a collection. I was stumped Img_0230for a while. I don't like collecting--I mean, I love finding something you treasure and having it in view for inspiration, but when you start adding to it, somehow each item seems to become less. I have several Belleck pieces, but they were all gifts. I remember who gave us each one, and love how they are a tie to our family and culture, but they aren't really my style. Aidan has a random rock collection, and a bit of a Buzz Lightyear collection, but it only looks like this for about 24 hrs...which makes me happy---I want things to be used, enjoyed, not just collected.

Finally I realized something I do love, and wish I had more of, that needn't have a utilitarian purpose, and still would never feel like clutter: old family photographs. I love black and white photographs, and even more when they contain a piece of our family history.

Old_family_photos

Clockwise from top: Brian's uncle, Fr. Jim, and his grandmother, Lucille; my mom at age 5; my father's family (he's the curly haired boy in his dad's arms); my father all grown up; my older sisters, Karen, Erin, and Eileen; a school photo of my dad; my parents at their engagement party; Brian's mom and maternal grandmother holding him; a cousin of Brian's dad, I never met her, but I love this photo; Brian's dad and two buddies at a wedding; and in the center my paternal grandparents, John and Katie O'Malley.   

These are the photos I was able to find on my computer (with Dad dominating due to the album project last year)...but most of my favorites are framed around our house.

Now back to my sick boys who are surrounding me at the computer and threatening to cough on me.