in the common hours

Happy Birthday, Kay!

 

Here's to bright balloons, good ice cream, and lots of CHIPS reruns;-)

love, your lil sis D

Easter '09

The problem with time off from the blog is that there is too much to catch up on, so I don't begin.

I hope to go back and fill in on Aidan's and Nolan's birthday posts, and write one about Spring Break, but that will have to wait.

Otherwise the list will just get longer.

We celebrated Easter last Sunday. I ended up teaching our little Sunday School, which more than doubled in honor of the holiday. For the past month or so I'd been teaching the kids the song "Rise & Shine," which my older sisters will recognize from our Camp Vista days. I was so happy even the older kids participated. After the peace sign they all walked up to the altar and led the whole congregation.

 

When we started attending this church, there weren't any children there on Sundays. We knew a family with two boys, but they were traveling that summer. Slowly, more and more families have been joining our parish. I believe there are many ways to "keep holy the Sabbath," but I'm thrilled for our sake that there are more children with whom to celebrate now!

How sweet are these two guys?

Aidan and Sean were not happy to see the camera come out. They wanted to hurry to the Easter egg hunt.

 

Don't they look thrilled? At least they had a comrade in their pain.

Amazing how the threat of no more jelly beans can produce smiles:

 

I know...I'm one lucky momma.

This is my new favorite photo of Nolie and me:

 

Thank you, Brian, for taking it (I am often giving him grief that there are 1001 photos of him and our kids and none of me with them).

Brian colored eggs with the bigs, for the second year in a row, while I was getting Easter clothes ready. He also did the Easter Bunny shopping since he got to leave town (he was out of town for 2 wks in a row, with a weekend at home in between--thank goodness! My hat is off to all single parents.). The traditional spring jammies and a book for each boy as well as sweets and a "Tom & Jerry" Dvd. The bigs are crazy about Tom & Jerry, despite my best efforts to convince them it is mostly mindless violence;-)

There was Masters golf, a big dinner, some over-sugared boys running around, and a nice walk with the whole family at the end. I'm grateful for a sweet Easter with all of us together.

Hope you are all enjoying a warm spring and Happy belated Easter!

Happy Valentine's Day

 

from our hearts to yours.

(Handcarved soap idea from Blue Yonder )

Gifts of the Season, Part II

I'm accepting that I'll never finish this post if I try to capture our whole trip.

First the low points:

Low point #1: As I was pulling clothes out of the dryer to pack the night before our trip---you know, that final load that has a bit of everything in it, I found a tiny, mostly melted-away brown crayon at the bottom of the dryer. And brown marks on all the clothes.

Goodbye white turtlenecks. Goodbye most of the boys' underwear. Why'd it have to be a brown crayon? I would've been able to live with them wearing orange marks on their undies...

Low point #2: Our second day in Illinois, our boys meet up with their cousins Maria (age 1) and Anne (age 6) and Aunties at Legoland. Brian pulls my camera out for the first time and discovers that instead of packing my digi Canon Rebel Xi, we somehow packed his film Rebel. Given that I was most excited about taking photos of my boys with family, this was a little devastating. Bri's old camera is a good one, but I'm out of practice using film, and with little ones, have gotten used to taking 30 shots to get that one really good one.

I had packed our point-n-shoot for the roadtrip, and ended up using that most of the time.

Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise to let go of capturing the moment. I think Bri was almost as depressed by this as I was, as most of his gifts to me involved the camera that wasn't there.

Low point #3: Basically the weather during the entire trip. We saw several accidents while driving through a blizzard in Iowa. Then there were freezing temperatures, then 24 hrs of snowfall, followed by fog and ice, followed by unseasonable rain that led to swift melting of all that snow and floods.

Our boys were dying to play in snow, but it was too cold to enjoy it much. They did get to sled a little one afternoon. I felt housebound much of the trip, which was especially hard with little boys who are used to playing outside daily. It also made us less willing to run out and drive across town more often...

Luckily the high points easily outnumber the low ones.

High point #1:

Aidan bought small gifts at his school's Santa Workshop, and came home ecstatic about his choices, which he kept secret until Christmas. All he would say was, "Mom, you're gonna faint!" and "I think Grandma/Gramare is going to cry when she sees my gift!"  He also made some gifts, including a board book called Alien Leprechauns for my dad.

The high point of Christmas was watching him give those gifts, and the amazing reactions of his grandparents, who lived up to his expectations.

And I love my blue rhinestone, lucky-horseshoe necklace from Aidan.

High point #2:

 

My presidential moment. I won't go into the details here, because it reveals just how much of a geek I am and perhaps you have to be a middle child from a family of 11 to fully understand why meeting my sister Elizabeth's challenge to name all 44 presidents was such a great moment for me. And it was a gift from her--a totally perfect moment that cracked me up all week every time I thought of it.

High point #3:

Brian gave me, as well as his mom and my parents a gift about which I knew nothing. I had been disappointed by the photos I took when the boys visited Santa, and he tracked down the professional there that day and framed copies of this one:

 

I love that he took the time and effort to track it down, buy frames and wrap them and keep it all a secret. Nolan looks a little freaked out that we just abandoned him with some strange old man, but every year when we pull this photo out at Christmas it will remind me of so much more.

High Point #4:

Seeing family. Of course there wasn't enough time, and it was a little painful on the ride home to realize the trip was over and that was all the time we got (especially considering the 4o hrs of driving, roundtrip). I got to see my parents three times, and I'm grateful for it, but I wanted more. I'm especially grateful for the evening we went to their home for pizza, before the big Christmas Eve party my mom throws every year.

Looking at the list I wrote on Dec. 3rd, the season went well. We relished reading Christmas/Winter books at bedtime. We lit Aidan's advent wreath at dinner each night. We went to mass with Brian's mom and she made a Buche De Noel cake so the boys could sing "Happy Birthday Jesus."

Both grandmothers had been out here to meet Nolan, but this was his first time meeting his grandad:

 

Babies love my dad.

Nolan also met his godparents for the first time, Aunt Elizabeth & Uncle Gabriel.

 

If I had been thinking, I'd have made sure to get a photo of just him with both of them. Or of all three boys sitting in front of the Christmas tree like we usually take every year. Or of their expressions opening gifts (Sean's reaction when opening the Buzz Lightyear set from my parents: "It's just what I always wanted!"). Or of the boys with their Gramare, whom we spent all week with and have NO photos with---I feel bad about this but luckily we have lots of photos from her visits earlier this year (and we did give her a disposal camera in her stocking so I don't feel fully to blame!).

There are hardly any photos of the big boys at all, but I will remember Aidan playing beside his cousin Anne at Legoland, and how both boys relished making their cousin Leah laugh and hearing her sweet giggle (the next day Aidan declared her his "best friend"). I'll remember how my brother Kevin put on Sean's shoes for him, and how Brian sat beside Karen as she played Santa. I'll remember lil Maria singing "I'm a Little Teapot" and wanting to sneak her home with me. I'll remember meeting my nephews Henry and John for the first time--and witnessing my baby sister as a mom for the first time. I'll remember the traditional punch and my sons' excitement over getting cranberry sauce again. I'll remember Star and Melody putting on a little concert for the family, and how Aidan and Sean joined in at the end. I'll remember them decorating cookies with Brian's mom and how she went on to create several masterpieces on her own. I'll remembering getting to see "Slumdog Millionaire" on a rare night out with Brian---and how, when it was sold out at the first theater and we were driving across town to another one, he took my hand and reminded me that it wasn't about what movie we saw but about being alone together.

There were tons of presents and way too many toys, but these were the real gifts of the holiday and if I don't remember them, at least they are captured a bit here.

To You and Yours

 

from the Keating boys!

See you in the new year!

Welcome Christmas

 

A big thanks to those who responded to my last post and shared their similar frustrations or anxieties. It always helps to know you are not alone. My advent spirit has arrived in full force now; how could it not in a house with three little boys?

We went to two places that advertised a visit with Santa this weekend, before finally finding him at our third stop. Aidan told him, "Santa, we've been looking for you everywhere!"  He had a lot to tell him, all about the alien chamber he's wishing for (and which I hope Santa has connections for because it seems to be sold out EVERYWHERE), and how we'll be at his grandmother's house this Christmas. Sean was a little shy, just in awe. I didn't get any good shots, but this blurry one captures the moment:

 

We watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer one night, and they've been singing it ever since.

Aidan picked Christmas in Noisy Village as our book on Friday night. Don't think you can read that one without getting into the Christmas spirit. Last night it was The Snowman, which doesn't have any text, so we took turns telling the story. Made my heart so happy.

Busy weekend. Aidan went to a friend's bowling birthday party--note to self, we need to take the boys bowling more. He loved it.

 

About 20 of us met at Zax for pizza and beer. 10 kids under age 8 at their own table = chaos. But it was a good, crazy kind of chaos. They all watched the light parade from the bed of Brian's truck (best view and best way to corral them!). Wish I had gotten a shot of their faces when Santa drove by in a fire truck at the end of the parade---but by then I was snuggling with Nolan and not willing to trade him for a camera.

I realized a couple things this week, lessons I am sure to relearn again and again this season. The cliche--inch by inch, life's a cinch; yard by yard, life is hard. If I pay attention just to what is in front of me, what I need to do today or just in this moment, it is always doable,  enjoyable. I get overwhelmed when I imagine all that needs to be done, when I get ahead of myself. AND especially when I start worrying about other people's expectations. Have to let all that go.

More and more I realize that it is my job to create joy, an atmosphere of joy, for our sons. That is all they really want---to sense that we are happy, to have our attention, to tell us stories and play together. Simple things really.

I heard this prayer read today and it struck a chord. Especially that line about seeking "quiet spaces". Hope you enjoy it too.

Lord Jesus,

Master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We, who have so much to do, seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.
To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!"
Amen.

-Henri J.M. Nouwen

Advent

Above video is from Advent Conspiracy, with a hat tip to Stacy Julian's blog.

Where is my Christmas spirit?

I'm having a hard time finding it, and I NEVER have a hard time finding it. I'm one of those annoying ones who love Christmas carols all year round. I love the excuse to bake. I love the smiles and greetings strangers give each other at this time of year. I love houses all lit up and all the traditions I described last year.

Maybe it's because for the first time in five years or so, we are traveling at Christmas. Not just traveling, driving. With three boys. For three days. Each way. We will probably spend more time in the car than we will with either of our families. And December is just not the best time to visit Chicago.

And I can't complain because this was my idea ----I had to campaign for months to get Brian on board. I wanted our boys to see their cousins. 

Brian has already hung up the outside lights and has none of my ba-humbug-ness. Perhaps because he doesn't have to do any of the Christmas shopping. Other than for me. And I'm easy to please (if he reads this, that is sure to make him laugh).

Now I can't see putting out last year's advent calendar when we won't be here for the last half. I stole the idea from Kelli Crowe last year---look how she's made it even cuter this year:

 

Instead of focusing on what we'll miss here at home and what we won't do, here's what I will do:

*steal an idea from Melissa Deakin using our stash of Christmas books as a sort of advent calendar.

*read Borg's The First Christmas along with Angie and I hope that will renew my Christmas spirit.

*light the candles on the advent wreath Aidan made at "church club"---and give thanks for women like my friend Kathy that gathered the supplies from resale stores and made it happen!

*resolve myself that we probably will disappoint both our families by not doing all the things they'd hoped to squeeze into our visit, and focus on our sons, making sure this visit isn't a rush of coming and going and sitting in traffic.

*see my dad meet and hold Nolan for the first time.

*meet two new nephews and see our niece Maria for the first time since she was a wee infant.

*go to Christmas mass with Brian's mom and all our boys.

*listen to Liam Neeson read The Polar Express while we drive through through Nebraska. And then again through Iowa. And maybe a few more times.

*watch "It's a Wonderful Life" this week since it probably won't happen on Christmas Eve this year

*focus on a few handmade gifts rather than the never-ending shopping/online ordering.

*remind myself that our time here is limited, and our time with family in Chicago even more limited, so keep my sense of humor, let things go, and relish being able to hug everyone in person.

*and know that next year, we'll get a real tree again and have Christmas at home.

Giving

I love so many things about Thanksgiving: a beautifully set table, the traditional dishes, the whole emphasis on gratitude, and just the idea that so many people around the country are sitting down to similar tables and bowing their heads in thanks. And I have so many great Thanksgiving memories.

The first time Brian met my family was Thanksgiving '90.

 

And Angie and I bonded over a failed pie-extravaganza at Coronado on Thanksgiving '91.

 

Even in Russia, we hosted a big Thanksgiving feast after scoring some turkey legs in the city. I also remember an event hosted by the English department at the university in Komsomolsk, where the female students dressed up as Native Americans and the males dressed up as mobsters, yes--ala "The Godfather", in their celebration of America. 

We were so young---*sigh*.

We've always either been guests (at the Chandlers in '02, at my sister Eileen's in '03, and at the Rockows in Flagstaff last year) or, more often, hosts (the Numaguchi's and my sister Maria in '04, my college friend Kris and family in '05, Brian's mom and our neighbor Carol in '06). 

 

Thanksgiving 1998 when we hosted Brian's parents in our tiny Oregon apartment.

This year we had the least stressful Thanksgiving of our adult lives. For the first time ever we were neither host nor guest; it was just us. And guess what, it was heavenly. I love a big table of family and friends, like we enjoyed last year, and I hope we will again next year. But it was also nice to put aside whether the whole house was company-clean, and if the turkey needed another half-hour, there was no worry.

Our Thanksgiving traditions are simple. The usual dishes: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes & gravy, sweet potatoes, corn or green beans, walnut-craisin salad.

Brian always makes the turkey. And apparently I always take a picture of him doing so:-)

We go around the table saying what we are grateful for.

 

Becky Higgins wrote about giving winter jammies on Thanksgiving instead of Christmas Eve, so they have a longer season. I love that idea (and as I type this, I realize that happened last year when the boys received pjs from Angie & Jeff on Thanksgiving). So that is a new tradition.

I never thought my boys and the curmudgeon Andy Rooney would have much in common, but when it comes to Thanksgiving, they're on the same page. Aidan and Sean were the Thanksgiving police, complaining in the grocery store about the Christmas decoration display "when it is STILL November!"  They stared aghast as our neighbors strung Christmas lights on their front porch last week.

Rooney makes a good point about why Thanksgiving gets cut short every year---it's not a big marketing holiday. There's nothing commercial about this holiday, which perhaps explains why I'm so sad this year to see it go.

a photo, a prayer, and a recipe

 

 

We thank thee, Lord, for happy hearts,

For rain and sunny weather;

We thank thee, Lord, for this food,

And that we are together.

And my very favorite Thanksgiving dish---the cranberry sauce! I love every possible way it is prepared, but this is my newest favorite, with a hat tip to Angie's mom, Carmen, who shared it with us.  It uses raw cranberries and is really more of a relish. Enjoy your day of giving thanks!

Cranberry Sauce
 
1 lb fresh cranberries, finely chopped
 
2 tart green apples (Granny Smith), chopped
 
1 cup sugar
 
1/2 cup orange marmalade
 
10oz pkg frozen raspberries ,thawed
 
1 teaspoon lemon juice
 
Mix together and enjoy,  will keep in refrigerator for a month.

Happy 40th Birthday, Brian

These are my favorite four days of the year.

For these four days, Brian is two years older than me. I feel so young. And somewhat scandalous now, being with a FORTY year old!

 

40 years ago the greatest guy I know came into the world.

And all he wants for his birthday is Obama for president. Bush has caused him to gray prematurely. Okay, that was the cold in Russia, but still...here's hoping he gets his birthday wish.

Dear God, please let this day have a happy ending. Please.

5 Things about Brian I'm Grateful for...

 

1. He really is the best father I know.

2. He cracks me up. If not with a silly face, then with an deadpan line that I won't get until 5 minutes later. Or just by the way he says, "okey-dokee".

3. He likes to drive, grill, build, and fix things. These things didn't really matter to me when I married him, but today I'm very aware of how much easier they make my life.

4. The sound of his voice still makes my knees go weak.

5. He is a kind-hearted man. Pure-of-heart. I know that phrase might make him laugh, but it's true. Brian loves adventure and is 100x more daring than I am, but he doesn't play with other people's feelings. He's an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist when it comes to himself, but with others, he's generous and considerate. Patient and accepting. Fiercely loyal. We have different parenting styles, but I believe my own strengths as a mother come from having been with Brian for ten years before we had children.

Right after we started dating, a friend of mine told me how he had helped jump her car battery. She didn't really know him, but she remembered how he had given her his gloves to wear, as it was an icy cold Chicago night. Even then, I remember thinking how that was so Brian.

He's the kind of man who covers me with a blanket after I fall asleep unexpectedly. Says "bless you" when I sneeze, even if I'm in a different room. Reminds me to tell the waiter "no mayo" because I always forget and it ruins my sandwich. Calls to say good night when he's miles away.

The little things, which are really the big things. That's what I'm most grateful for.

Happy Birthday, Dude.