in the common hours

On the bright side

...our boys are all at the magical age where the most comfortable spot on the planet is their mom and dad's bed.

...my mom came to visit for the 1st time since we moved here. Such a blessing to have her healthy and for my kids to get a good dose of Grandma.

Lots of good memories from her short visit, but my favorite was when she pulled a lawn chair up next to the kid pool while Aidan showed off his diving moves to her. He relished having her give him a score on each dive. It started out on a scale from 1 to 10, but when I came back out again, she was telling him, "200!"

...Grandma's hands. I love this photo, possibly because I miss my own Nana's hands so much and would love to have had a photo like this of her with me.

 

...the kindness of strangers who ask if we'd like a photo of all of us together.

...hearing a real laugh when his dad tries to eat his toes. Love that game;-)

...the way these two crack each other up ALL day long.

...impromptu jam sessions in the backyard.

...the woman who came up to me after mass today to comment on how Nolan looks at Brian. So true. He can't get enough of his dad.

The same woman proceeded to share with me the story of one of her friends, who married into a family that hasn't "sired a female in over 100 years." She's told me this story, with much greater detail, at least four times before, but it was only today that I realized she's much older than I thought, and has no memory of previously telling me. Obviously the sight of me with my three boys compels her to share it with me. Did I cut her off last time? Will I be able to give her the little delight she obviously takes from telling it next time?

...the progress this little guy is making in using the bathroom (because I know you're dying to hear all about that!)

...Brian being home for the 4th of July (photo above is from last year's 4th).

With the fires waging in CA, we've been preparing for his exit any moment. Truth told: I hate it. I don't have the personality or disposition to be a "fire wife". I find the anticipation of him leaving almost as exhausting as the single parenting after he's left (almost). Hate worrying about him, hate not knowing when he'll be returning, hate knowing that when he does get home, he still might have to leave any minute. Despite all that, I still like him a lot, and he still likes fighting fire (even though he promised me he'd grow out of it years ago), so here we are.

Had he been gone, we would have gone to the parade anyway, but given that the parade is less than 5 minutes long, and I'm usually at least that late, I doubt we'd have seen it. And then he wouldn't have been there to catch the collapsing bouncy house or to hear Aidan tell him with pride how he sunk a teenager with his fastball at the dunking booth. And when we all decided it was too hot and muggy to stay and eat at the park, he wouldn't have been there to somehow grill up dinner in less than 30 minutes. And Aidan and Sean wouldn't have been given the chance to freak out their mom by dancing around lighting fireworks... if he hadn't been here.

So I'll take what time this fire season gives us and say thank you. Not graciously, no. With the same old resentment and reluctance and the exhaustion that comes from not wanting to be a brat on the same day he might leave. But still, ultimately, grateful.

Good Things

Ten Things Making Me Happy...

1. Aidan's play station shirt. So soft, and the sentiment makes me smile every time I see it. Thanks, Lori, for the link.

2. Red pepper hummus. Who knew? Thanks to Amy for the introduction:-)

3. Wee Gardens, as found via Anne's web site. Love the idea of creating our own in a large pot this summer and seeing the boys run with it.

4. Perennials. I had completely forgotten that I planted these 'red hot pokers' last year (after I accidentally "weeded" my blanket flowers). I'm always amazed that you can dig a hole one year and plant something that will give back to you for years.

5. This hat (thanks, Peggy!). I love baby hats. And I've always been lucky that my babies wore them happily. But Nolan's head is so big, almost all the sun hats and caps passed down to him from Aidan and Sean are too small. So this one will be getting some good use.

6. "My Boys" returning to TBS on Thursdays. Normally, having me as a fan is the kiss of death for a TV show (eg: Homefront, Once and Again, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip). So I assumed this show had been cancelled.  It's a silly 30-minute comedy, but it's set in Chicago---and unlike "Sex and the City," where I could never relate to the Manolos or the falling for guys who treat you poorly, I get PJ's world.

8. Nolan sleeping from 8 pm to 4 am regularly ---(now I just need to get to bed before midnight).

9. I probably say too often that Aidan doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body. Sometimes I worry that he won't be assertive enough. Last week, Brian and I overheard a little girl mocking Sean. She just wanted attention but still, it was mean. And it ended immediately when we both heard Aidan say, with great authority, "Don't make fun of MY brother!"  Way to make us proud, kid.

10. This chocolate chip cookie recipe from Alton Brown. It isn't necessarily the "best" (still searching for the definitive one) but it is very tasty and a little salty (which I like) and the butter is melted which works for me because I always forget to leave it out in time to soften. We baked a batch last Monday to thank Brian on Aidan's last day of school. 

When Nolan was born, Brian took over the morning routine of getting Aidan fed, dressed, and out the door. Even packing his lunch. We'll pretend not to notice that Aidan was remarkably less tardy once Brian was driving him to school. Doing all this meant that Bri started work 30 to 60 minutes later than normal. He gave up that quiet time when you can get work done before people and interruptions arrive. He also gave up getting a good parking spot:-) But he gave me a spring full of peaceful mornings not spent trying to get three boys all in a car before 8 am. Priceless.

Of course I'm incapable of stopping at ten, but it is almost midnight now so here are just 3 more things.

11. This Jamie Oliver recipe, ala Pioneer Woman, for Asian Noodle Salad. Definitely going to be a summer regular around here now (though Bri, not surprisingly, wants to add chicken next time).

12. Hawaiian Ice or Shave Ice. Oh. My. Goodness. I don't like to chew ice, so I've never liked snow cones. These, however, are like eating snow. Yummy snow that tastes like green apples or a pina colada.

13. The Week, thanks to Erin. Maybe this should go on my previous post as a great baby shower gift. Love finally being able to finish an article for a change, thanks to their brevity.

Summertime

Summer officially starts when the first strawberries are picked and the last school bell rings.

We had a great weekend in Flagstaff, though I don't think I'll ever ask my kids to spend 12 out of 48 hrs in a car again. They did great, and we don't even have a DVD player in the car, but we were all just sick of driving by that last long hour before home.

Still, it was well worth it for them to see their buddies, the Rockows, again. And for us to witness Meagan's big day.

I can remember so clearly the entire year of preparation that went into my own first communion. It is a rite of passage for Catholics, and I found myself misty-eyed just seeing Meagan in her great-grandmother's veil.

It was a beautiful thing, to see this tradition carried on and to see Meagan take yet another step in her personal journey of faith.  I can't wait to know the woman she becomes.

There is never enough time when we visit, but I am grateful that Aidan got some time with his godparents as well.

And that Angie got to know our little butterball, Nolan, a bit more.

 

And in the never-slowing-down fashion of life, today was Aidan's "graduation" from kindergarten.

Most of our indoor shots turn into a blur like this, but I love this one. Aidan is turning toward the camera in the far bottom corner, and you can feel the buzz of activity that was going on.

His teacher announced last week that she was moving away. Last week Kevin teased me a bit about the shutterfly book I was making for her, and obsessing a bit too much about, as is my way. In light of her news though, I was even more grateful we had put it together, with photos from the school year and illustrations by each student of what they loved most about kindergarten. It made her cry when she read it, and I explained to Aidan that is actually a good sign.

I had so much trepidation about Aidan entering the world of public school, worried that school would actually turn off his natural curiosity and his excitement about learning. I saw so many smart boys when I was teaching who had shut down and lost any enthusiasm about anything. I loved school as a kid, but I also see how much of it is really training for a passive public, wanting you to sit down and shut up for the most part, or at least until a bell rings.

Enter Mrs. Sturman. She set me at ease in the first week, because she seemed to immediately "get" Aidan, and appreciate all his gifts. She offered the best combination of great patience and high expectations. Aidan loves school, and so much of that is thanks to the wonderful teacher he had this year. I'll always be grateful he began his life in school in such a positive way.

Now, summer, here we come!

A good weekend

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's day. When one's children are young, Mother's Day falls on the dad's shoulders. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I didn't have to make one meal, and even more exciting, I didn't have to make any decisions :-)  I woke to a yummy breakfast of homemade waffles with fresh strawberries and cream. And some orange juice in my favorite little glass; little things like that make me so happy.

Aidan proudly presented me with the sunflower he made with his grandmother during her last visit. (Thanks, Marilyn!). Bri surprised me with some real sunflowers in a pretty bouquet. Aidan decorated the marigolds' pot (with Franny K Stein of course) at school and gave me my favorite gift yet, a book about why he loves me. Following pages detailing how I help him in his "lab", there came this conclusion:

Aidan pointed out that I am saying "Aidan" and he is saying "Mom."

I used to be Momma to him, but I'll take Mom so long as it still comes with hugs.

Sean gave me his Planet Heroes Turbo Shuttle. And Aidan also built me a robot out of a cardboard box and a balloon, and told me it was a Cleaning-bot that would wash all the floors for me. Man, this kid knows the way to a mom's heart:-)

As requested, Brian picked up the camera that day, and he did get a good shot on our picnic at the Teacup.  Nolan had a good nap in the Bjorn while his brothers had fun getting wet and muddy with their dad in the creek.

There are 101 things I want to record here before they slip away, but Nolan is sleeping and if I don't soon, I won't get to. As of yesterday he's two-months. Insert here every cliche about it all going too fast. It's painful really, except that as they grow they become more and more engaging. A full update to come soon!

Blessings & Random Notes

Sean couldn't be a sweeter big brother, though he often could be a quieter big brother.

Brian went back to work on Monday, and I was surprised how many people called during the week to check in on how we were doing:-)  I am blessed with good friends.

We were incredibly lucky to have had Brian home for Nolan's first month. He made the decision to take off four weeks after the birth of each of our sons. Priceless. When I think of Aidan, Sean, and Nolan someday becoming fathers like their dad, I feel so good about humanity's future:-)

 

Current nicknames for Nolan: cutie-pie, jelly bean, Nolie, and Hic-cup, because he gets them at least once a day.

A very Happy-Mail week. A blanket from my sister Karen who celebrated her birthday this week too. She also sent her very first emails, with help from her speech-pathologist,  and they sounded just like Kay in person. Each one made mention of her birthday--totally cracked me up! 

I received a box full of yellow from one of my favorite people on the planet---a beautiful letter on beautiful yellow paper, with the world's best lemon bars and some yellow jammies, for me not for Nolan:^)

A few weeks ago I asked Molly, from Foothill Home Companion, how she made her pin cushion-in-a-cup.  Photo by Molly Dunham

Instead of just sending the directions, she sent me a cup of my own that arrived this week. Love the kindness of strangers:-) And the sight of this little cup on my sewing table is motivation enough to get all the piles of paper off of it and start learning to sew!

Someone asked where we got Sean's cute tie from this cute photo:

It's made by Dainty Couture. Check out her etsy store---they are made so well, and super comfortable (I'm going to have to order more because both big boys want to wear it). I actually won it as a giveaway from Kid Haus:-)

By request, I'm deleting the end of this post. So if you're arriving late, you missed out on a very cute photo of one very neurotic girl.

Moment by moment

Trying to turn around my perspective. Trying to not feel overwhelmed by the need to do lots of laundry today, make it to library time, a kids book fair, and the grocery store, make lunch--and then dinner, finish the baby's room (finally!), prep for Aidan's bday bash this weekend, and follow up on commitments like creating a web site for free (what was I thinking??)...Meanwhile my nesting instincts are in full force and I just want to spend the day redoing my closet and the laundry room.

I was going to say, "I can't complain because these are all things I want to do" but obviously that's not true: I'm still capable of complaining:-) 

Anyone else intimidated by the upcoming calendar? We have Aidan's birthday, followed by St. Pat's day, our 14th wedding anniversary, then Easter. That same week is spring break, and my dad's and good friend Angie's birthday. Oh, and somewhere in there, I AM HAVING A BABY!

One thing I know, and yet have to remind myself of often, is that everything in this moment is okay. It is when I leave the moment and try to imagine an entire week at once that it is overwhelming.

I'll admit I dislike the saying "God never gives you more than you can handle"...okay, more like I hate it. As if the young children in the midst of the violence happening in Sudan or Kenya at this very moment are supposed to be able to handle that, and as if everything that happens is willed by God, and imperfect human beings have nothing to do with it. But at the same time I get the intention...only for me, it is the moment that never gives you more than you can handle. Moment by moment is doable. I just need to remind myself to stay there.

Not at all what I intended to write about...but there it is.

Things for which I'm Grateful:

1. Good friends who treat a very preggo friend to a great Thai dinner and overwhelm her with their sweet generosity toward Baby Keating.
2. Sterilite boxes. Seriously. They're an addiction now.
3. Bri taking the boys for a drive Sunday so I could go through all the toys.
4. Warm weather...please don't leave us!
5. Blowing off my afternoon to-do list yesterday and heading to the park.  Sunshine is good.
6. Miles and Rayce, Sean's buddies who are just as sweet as he is. He refused to take off his Robin costume at the park, and both boys played right along, calling him "Robin" the whole time. How sweet is that?
7. This boy is almost six, and won't wear what I want him to any more, doesn't hear anything the first time he's told, and wants to close his door so Sean will leave him alone. He's growing up. But he still loves to snuggle, still runs to wave goodbye to his dad  from the front window every morning, still kisses both his brothers goodnight:-)
8. A full email box of friends and family's favorite Oscar moments/feedback.
9. Skipping library time to finish this post.
10. Sean telling me stories that all begin: "Onceuponatime"--as one word, one breath.

   

Home Again

Ten Things I'm Grateful for from this Weekend:

10. That I married a man who enjoys driving. I don't enjoy driving, so despite how circa-1950s it makes me seem, I love that he does all the driving on roadtrips.

9. That while Olive Garden might not be the most exciting place to eat in the big city, its kids menu actually resembles something kids eat at home: pasta, chicken, broccoli. And the breadsticks keep everyone happy till the food arrives.

8. That Brian took both boys swimming in the hotel pool while I got to nap and read by myself.

7. That Sean pretty much slept all the way home. Thank you, Sean.

6. That Aidan might grow up and not remember how impatient his mom, who was trying to imitate Sean on the drive home, was when he'd wake her to point out the moon, or inform her of the superhero powers contained in his pinkie, or to ask what wood is make out of.

5. IKEA. When you only have access to it once a year or so, those cheap containers seem so much more special.

4. Sharing an ice cream sundae with two cute boys.

3. The large cardboard box sent by our friend Kris. She was sending us back our baby swing, but the box was the hit of Saturday. After coloring it and recruiting his dad to cut a door and window, Aidan would fit his entire self inside and say, "Mom, guess where I am?" "Where?" "I'm IN THE BOX!"

2. Not to brag, but my bladder did an amazing job on our road trip. A few weeks from giving birth, that is no small thing.

1. That we didn't come home with our same old Subaru.

Care to make a guess as to what we drove home? You can list make or model below, but the winner is the one who can guess what color the car is (because that's all I usually know about a car). Some happy mail to the winner.

Here's a hint: before we left, I told Bri that while color was not a high priority, there was one color I'd rather not get. And that's what we got...but it's growing on me already.

Thank God for Girlfriends

                      Late for Market by Charleen Martin

Lines (possibly) overheard Thursday night:

"I'd be wearing a BIDEN bumper sticker for a bra!"

"Steam some onions and rub that on their chest..."

"Then she fell from the ski lift..."

"Someone please take this chocolate away!"

"Don't they all look the same once they're excited?"

"only it was Daniel Craig washing the dishes..."

We all have different things in common with each other, but in many ways we are a diverse group---different backgrounds, nationalities, religions. The main two things we have in common:

1. We all gave birth for the first time six years ago (give or take a few months).

and

2.We make each other laugh. A lot.

What more could one want?

Best of 2007, Part V: Moments

I'm limiting myself to 10, because this post will still be too long and I'm anxious to be focused on moments in 2008. Inevitably I will post this and then think of moments that deserve to be remembered more than those listed here. That's the nature of all best lists, and I'm happy just to have any record.

1. Seeing my mom and dad in their beautiful new home, last January, and actually getting to cook for my mom instead of the other way around for a change. While my mom was in the midst of her battle against breast cancer, it was inspiring to witness my parents' love and support of each other, and the life they have created together at this stage.

And it is a rare treat to spend time with my siblings. Karen screamed when she first saw me, and had me laughing all weekend.  Erin and her children picked me up at the airport and took me out for an amazing dinner. I remember watching in awe how her 18-year-old son Liam helped his younger brothers and sisters, and the way Erin and Liam were able to talk and joke with each other. Isn't that every mother's wish?  With Eileen I got to exchange teaching stories and see how her baby has grown into a little girl. We love living in the west, but I do feel that our children pay the price in not seeing their three grandparents or knowing their cousins back in Illinois.

2. Our week in Tucson. Brian had a conference there, and we made a vacation out of it.  I always find  February a difficult month, just before the warmth of spring arrives. We stayed at a great hotel and the boys and I had fun exploring our old town before meeting Brian for dinner each evening. Angie and her three kids joined us midweek, as did Mary Alice. Such a gift to see our kids playing together! On Valentine's day, Angie kept our boys overnight at her mom's and Brian drove us out to Gates Pass where he had proposed fifteen years previously.  Being back in Tucson, I felt so grateful for the history we share, as well as the future that awaits us.

3. My dad's 70th birthday. I wasn't able to be there for the party, but putting together a book for him, with all my siblings, was a highlight of the year. I'm grateful to have such a great dad.

4. Fourth of July at our house---a very kid-friendly party with lots of food, toddler pool, sparklers, and frozen margaritas, yum! The kids grabbed instruments and had their own little parade around the neighborhood, with our friend Gen playing his trombone. Living so far from family, I relish that sense of community. (Most of these photos were taken by Amy Walling)

Halloween at the Wallings and Thanksgiving with the Rockows had that same sense of community.  We miss our families-of-origin, but we are also grateful for the one we have created piecemeal out of friends.

5. A September weekend in Phoenix with Angie. It was ungodly hot, often over 100 degrees even at  11 pm, which only added to my 1st trimester state of nausea, but it was an incredibly fun time. Even if I did lose a few meals, the ones we shared were great, and the conversation over them even better. We went to a scrapbooking tradeshow/conference, where I bought beautiful paper and learned lots of stuff, none of which would have been half as fun without Angie there to laugh with throughout it--and take silly self-portraits with:-)

6. Our Texas roadtrip. In Wichita Falls the highlight was welcoming Maria Anne to the world and witnessing my little sister Elizabeth and her husband Gabriel in those early days of parenthood. We stayed with them at the beginning of our trip, and when we returned a week later, one would think they had been parents their whole life.

I also loved seeing how interested and gentle our boys were with their baby cousin.

In Austin the boys got to play  with their Keating cousins, Makenna, Cole, and Ava, as well as take a little hike, explore a kids' museum, and watch bats fly out from Congress Bridge.

In Houston, my dad and five of his siblings--flying in from Chicago, Ireland and England, gathered for the celebration of their sister, Carmel O'Malley, and her 50th anniversary as a Sister of the Incarnate Word. It was such a beautiful thing to see them together, and I don't think there was a dry eye in the room when they toasted to their late parents. So glad we were there.

8. Learning we were expecting a baby!

I'm a planner, a list-maker, a goal-setter. With my previous two pregnancies, I was testing way before you're supposed to. This one came as a surprise, and there are moments now when I feel I've just gotten used to the idea I'm pregnant and have yet to comprehend that a baby is coming.  But the best things in my life have all been unplanned---meeting Brian, making a home in Utah, and now this child. I feel excited, a little nervous, but, mostly, greatly blessed.   

9. Aidan and Sean becoming friends as well as brothers. Obviously seen in little moments throughout the year, but I saw it mainly click this summer. Sean got older and we had time to explore, swim every day, go to the waterpark, play at Mill Creek. I love knowing my sons will always have each other.

10. All the little moments. Aidan's excitement over riding the school bus and learning to read. Sean's ability to talk (and then never stop). The small kindnesses of Brian that brighten my day. Emails from former students of mine. Weekend mornings with the four of us snugged in one bed. Hot cocoa, working in the garden, movie nights. More. That is all I can think--I just want more of this. Please let us all stay healthy and enjoy more of these moments.

Hopes for 2008:

• a healthy baby
• a warm and loving home...with lots of house projects completed!
• learning new skills, like how to raise three boys, how to sew (I can't even sew a hem), how to use my SLR...many things.

Mainly I want to cultivate an eye for all the blessings in my life and an attitude of gratitude. That alone adds so much to my life. So I hope to, at least weekly, stop and give thanks for the big and little things, and actually write or photograph some of the things I'm feeling especially grateful for at that time.

And shorter blog posts!  There's a good goal. Here's to a year full of great small moments!

Gratitude

Ask and you shall receive.

Thank you so much to everyone who helped put together a goodie bag of warm mittens, hats, and gloves for children in the Republic of Georgia. Brian kindly boxed up all the backpacks and ziploc bags for me and they will make their way back to Georgia with Kathy in the new year.

People were so creative in their "extra goodies"---one bag contained superhero underoos.  Man, are those going to be a hit!  If things are at all similar to our adventure in the 90s (and sadly, things don't change much in the villages), even those ziploc bags will be treasured, and rewashed and reused for a long time. Someone sent us a box of them while we were in Russia, and we used those bags for two years. Now I feel guilty every time I throw one away.

Even though they are all in their 20's now (oy!), in my head, these are the kids who are about to receive these goodies. I so wish I had been able to coordinate something like this while I was in Selikhino.

I also wanted to say thanks for all the sweet feedback about my post on Aidan. I considered taking it down the next day, because I struggle with whether I'm violating his privacy in any way by writing publicly here. And then I think, this is my chance...because there's no way he's going to let me get away with it when he's 10. But I so appreciated the kind emails---definitely the most I've received on any one post. Aidan's had a tough week, and I'm especially grateful for friends who remind me that these are the days we'll laugh about in time to come.