in the common hours

Material Mama

"I spoke to a woman with a masters in finance-- and all she wanted to talk about was her diaper genie."  -Miranda, "Sex and the City"

To care for a baby, you really don't need much of anything. A car seat if you have  a car, somewhere for the baby to sleep, diapers, and some clothes for the baby. This is not a post about what you need.

I like to think of myself as a non-material girl. I spend more on books than I ever would on shoes.  Brian and I were together for years before we owned a car, for a decade before we owned a TV. I truly believe less IS more. But put a Pottery Barn Baby catalog in front of me, and I'll get misty-eyed.

My latest favorite discovery is Bebe au Lait, or as they are more widely known, Hooter Hiders. In the "old days" (about 2 wks ago for me), if you needed to nurse in public and maintain some privacy, you'd use a receiving blanket thrown over your shoulder. There were three problems with this.

1. The baby would pull the blanket down at random moments.
2. In the summer, the blanket would feel uncomfortably warm for you and the baby.
3. You couldn't see under the blanket, which makes proper latch a challenge.

This nursing cover solves all three---it can't be pulled down, it is made of super light material (and even has a terry-cloth corner pocket for convenience), and, best of all, it has a rigid neckline sewn-in, so that you and your baby can see each other the whole time. Maybe in a perfect world, there would be no need for covers of any kind, but in this world, I feel more comfortable nursing with a little privacy. They come in beautiful patterns~mine is black and white. Love it!

Target has started carrying them too. I imagine a lot end up on Ebay after the baby is weaned.

And, since Miranda mentioned it, we prefer the diaper champ over the diaper genie. I feel bad enough about not using cloth diapers; the long plastic sausage of diapers would put me over the edge. The champ is much simpler---Sean can toss diapers in there for me:-)  Still, poopy diapers go immediately in the outside trash can because I don't think anything can really fight that odor.

These are Nolan's pacifiers of choice. He's not very keen on any pacifier (at least when held by me, Bri tells a different story), but these are one piece, so there aren't icky corners to clean out. Safe silicone, latex free.

We're fans of the Baby Bjorn, our swing, and this little ducky we use once our babies can sit up. You don't waste a lot of water (as you would filling a tub for 6 month old) and the sides are soft. Best $10 I've spent.

 This isn't our exact swing, but it has the most important feature, an open top so you can easily lift baby out without worrying about his head. We've never used the toy tray that came with ours, and I find all mechanical music annoying. Equally annoying are the toys people insist on dangling in front of a newborn's face. Maybe when they're older, but babies just want to look at people (and ceiling fans). If you have a swing, you don't need a bouncy chair, and vice versa.

Probably my favorite thing we purchased when expecting our first is our glider. It is a cheap chair from Sears or JC Penny's, but I've nursed all 3 boys in it and read many a story with a boy on my lap in it. Even cheap chairs aren't cheap, but it is a splurge that I found worth it.

On the opposite end, things I wouldn't recommend are baby wash cloths. They're too small and feel so cheaply made---same with most baby towels, especially those hooded ones. Cute but flimsy. A quality towel is better. Nothing seemed to provoke my boys' eczema more than those washcloths.

Also those small burp cloths that are only 4 inches wide. Useless. I recommend prefolded diapers or Gerber's burp cloths that are as wide as a cloth diaper.

We also liked, for the slightly older baby, our Roo Baby plastic bib with the pouch, our backpack diaper bag (we stole the idea from Angie and got one from Lands End that came with a changing pad...don't think they still make theirs, but it is great to have arms free when traveling with a babe), and Joseph Garcia's Sign with your Baby series, as well as Signing Time DVDs. I still believe being able to communicate with sign language saved our boys a lot of frustrations and tantrums.

Parents enjoy preparing for a baby's arrival, and companies know this. Be wary---so much is marketed that is unnecessary (hello, wipe warmers and baby comforters?!). And one person's favorite item might be a complete waste to another.

I'll leave comments on for a change so you can share your favorite baby shower gift or what you found most useful/useless when you became a parent. Please share your favorites!

Nightstand update

A reading wrap-up for Friday Favorites this week. If this post looks long (it is), you could just read the list under Book Bag on the left.

I really enjoyed The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. I admit feeling slightly resentful of the beautiful author on the backcover who writes so masterfully at such a young age. But my awe is stronger than my resentment. As a first-generation American, I felt Lahiri captured the dissonance one feels between the culture that surrounds and the culture of one's family, and illustrated it beautifully in the intimate story of one family.

It reads easily, in a way that so few literary novels do. I thought of Stephen King's essay in this year's edition of The Best American Short Stories:

Last year, I read scores of stories that felt ... not quite dead on the page, I won’t go that far, but airless, somehow, and self-referring. These stories felt show-offy rather than entertaining, self-important rather than interesting, guarded and self-conscious rather than gloriously open, and worst of all, written for editors and teachers rather than for readers.

His point applies to the modern novel as well, if you are reading more than chic-lit. Vamderbes' Easter Island and Patchett's Bel Canto exemplify this self-consciousness, where the writing becomes a distraction, even at its heights, because the story and characters have less life. I know a lot of people enjoyed those books---but, hey, this is my blog;-) To me, they were clearly the product of writing-workshop authors, missing all the personal intensity that used to be guaranteed in a first novel (and which flowed in abundance in Patchett's memoir Truth and Beauty).

I also enjoyed Steve Martin's memoir Born Standing Up this month---with gratitude to our public library. Despite my previous claims about my parents lack of album-buying while raising nine children, we did own the Wild and Crazy Guy LP, and I loved reading about the evolution of that act. Martin writes about his parents with humor, respect and honesty ---a rare feat. If you enjoyed the documentary "Comedian", and find humor fascinating in terms of what works and what doesn't, you'll enjoy this. I finished wanting more...but that's a good complaint.

Also got Alice Waters' The Art of Simple Food from the library, but then they demanded it back before I finished. The nerve! While I didn't notice anything exactly new, it might be worth owning. Her recipes are decidedly basic so that you can master them and then develop them further based on your taste or the season. For someone as recipe-dependent as me, that would be a big step.

Of course, much of this month's reading has consisted of rereading pregnancy books (thank you Elizabeth!). Amazing how quickly the mind forgets. Sometimes it helps just to have a book tell you, that's normal, don't sweat it (eg: the king of all charlie horses in the middle of the night).

With each pregnancy, Brian has read a book aloud to me and the baby at night, based on the idea that the baby will then know his voice well. I swear, when Aidan was born, he turned his head toward Bri every time he heard his voice. And I love being read to, so it's a great gift to me as well.

  First time round, Bri read Babyhood by Paul Reiser. Perfect: short chapters, sweet and funny. Second time around we chose Bill Cosby's Parenthood. A mistake. In our state of happy anticipation, the humor came off as cynical ("when will these kids ever move out?!"). This time around we picked up a book Brian's mom gave him by Tim Russert, Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons. In all honesty, I can't imagine either of us ever reading it otherwise. Now I'm so grateful we are. At least one letter makes me cry almost every night, and some make us laugh out loud ("Gilipse pees no more"), but they are all a beautiful testament to the impact a parent can have. Definitely a future favorite of 2008.

Greener Than Thou

My friend A. recently asked me if I get annoyed with people playing "greener than thou." She was specifically referring to old friends of hers who are having solar panels installed. Despite driving SUVs and living in the city, in a house twice the square footage of hers, they thought they'd educate her about the benefits of their 30K improvement.

There is so much more we could be doing, that we want to do...eventually, that I'd never be tempted to engage in such a competition. Still, maybe it is a good sign. If people are silly enough to be competitive over their green habits, at least they are making efforts to help the planet.

There are things I feel good about, and things I feel bad about in terms of our impact.

The good: Living where we do, I normally fill my gas tank once a month. Outside of winter, we can walk to most places. Our water comes from the surrounding mountains instead of the Colorado river (alleluia!), we grow veggies in our garden using a drip system, and conserve water with a xeriscape garden out front, we can buy locally-raised meat at the butcher shop (thank you 4H!). We recycle what we can here and take the rest with us to Colorado once a month or so.

Thanks to Bri, most of our light bulbs have been switched out to compact fluorescents. I have to give him all the credit for training the boys--and me--to turn off lights. I remember him walking me home from a date and looking up disapprovingly at the light still on in my empty apartment.

He also gets points (man, I hope he doesn't read this) for encouraging me to wear a sweater instead of turning up the thermostat. 

The bad: we don't compost, at least not yet. And we're about to buy a mini-van.

The ugly: disposable diapers *sigh*

Aidan wore cloth diapers for the first six months. With Sean, I didn't even try.

On a more positive note, one of my favorite green purchases this year:

Aidan's bento lunch box, I love it:-) Definitely more expensive than a lead-containing Spiderman box, but with all the ziplocks we've saved, I think it has or will pay for itself. And there is just something more appetizing about opening your lunch box and seeing your food, compared to pulling it out from a sack. The little compartments also encourage me to provide him with smaller servings and more variety. Aidan loves it. At the beginning of the year, he wanted to have a hot lunch (via the school cafeteria), but after trying that twice, he now only wants his lunch box.

Ours came with an insulated case, ice pack, and waterbottle.

I have to say I am SO proud of my little man for not losing any of it (so far!). 

Top Toys #1- 4

Trying to tie up loose ends from '07... click Kid Reviews under categories to see toys #6-10.

Toy #4: Mr. Potato Head

Okay, maybe not for everyone but this is our list after all, and all I can say is this toy gets a lot of mileage around here. Aidan may have more Potato Head parts than a collector, thanks to his grandparents (who gave him Space Potato Head and Spiderman Potato Head, among others) and to my own excitement at the challenge of fitting as many unique Potato Head accessories as possible into a bag at Once Upon a Toy.

Mr. Potato Head also makes a good sidekick to several superheroes, so he gets pulled out often. So there is usually a stray arm or hat under our couch...

#3: Wooden Food Set

Love this one. Tiny ones gnaw on it (see the Melissa Doug website for info on their products and their assurance about paint, etc. No lead-paint recalls there!), little ones cut it up with the kid-friendly wooden knife, and big ones serve you lunch with it. We pack it up every so often, but it always comes back out. Definitely worth the $.

#2: Power Tools and Tool Bench

They are Brian's sons after all. Aidan received his Craftsman tool bench from Santa when he was 2 years old. It's all plastic and batteries and realistic noises, not my kind of thing at all---but they love it, as does every boy who enters our home.

I've seen some sets that are too 'task-oriented' so that they require an adult's help, and other sets that offer nothing for a child to *do* (besides push that noise button). This one is a good balance (though there must be better ones out there).

For my guys, it was and still is all about the safety goggles:-)

#1 Top Toy:  Arts & Crafts Supplies!

Okay, maybe that's a cop-out because they aren't really toys, but man, if they ain't loved around here.  Gramare gave the guys a big plastic jar filled with pipe cleaners,googlie eyes, and popsicle sticks----and they were in awe! These two can never get enough of paper or freshly sharpened pencils. I'm always being asked if Aidan can dive into my stash of ribbon, buttons, or brads.

I have a friend who saves every paper towel roll, etc., for her boys' craft closet, and when she told me that, I did feel a pang of guilt. Then I read Camp Creek Press's post about creating a kid-friendly studio and felt even more guilt . Of course I also read Peter Walsh's It's All Too Much last year, so I've found a compromise. I've given Aidan some space, where he can "collect" all the household found objects he wants for his creations---until the designated space is filled. Then you gotta use some before you add more. Because space is limited, even if buttons are not:-)  And this is a kid who won't let me throw anything away---the cup cozy from take-out chai is essential for "something" he wants to make.

Still, nothing makes Aidan happier than making something or creating something or---lately--just drawing up plans for the things he's going to invent when he's older.

And there are no batteries required:-)

Finally, 3 Honorable Mentions:

3. Superheroes/Action Figures

Because I'd be misleading you if I didn't mention them.

Sean usually has one in his fist throughout the entire day.

2. Stuffed Animals

I always favored them over dolls as a kid, but as an adult, they just seem like germ-collectors to me. And we have WAAAAY too many of them. But these boys have so much love to give.

One of my all-time favorite photos. Aidan was four at the time and I grabbed my camera when I saw he had set up all his friends with him to read on the couch.

Pootie 

&

Yellow

Sometimes I think they just really need a dog. Give me two more years, guys, I promise.

While not a toy, the last is more essential than any toy or object. Save the $ you'd spend on toys and let your kids play with this as much as possible:

#3. Wide Open Spaces

   

Advent Time

Yesterday a good friend made the following comment: "I'm not a fan of this time of year." And she didn't mean the sudden cold weather that descended on our little town last week.

I have more help than most (thanks to Bri, I've never had to hang a string of lights yet), but the to-do list is still intimidating. So much I want to do, so many memories I want to create, and at the same time, I mostly just want to snuggle with a good book next to Brian, with my yellow-blue blanket and a hot cup of tea.

I don't remember who sent me the link to Camp Creek Blog, but thank you. I love her take on holiday resolutions. Seriously funny.    (Five points to anyone who just read that and thought "oxymoron")

Even more, I am inspired by her effort to keep the focus on her sons: "they are so easy to please. they just want to eat ice cream in the living room while watching christmas cartoon specials, me to haul myself outside and play with them in the snow, messy craft projects, freedom to decorate the tree however they want ... giving up on the other stuff makes a better holiday for all of us!"

I'll be rereading that throughout the next four weeks to gain perspective. I get overwhelmed, but I always love this time of year. It was easily the happiest time of year in our household growing up. I suspect both my parents have some Dickensian Christmas memories, and they went above and beyond to make the holiday special for all of us. (I'm the one in braids below, in case it isn't obvous.)

Nostalgia plays a large role in most of my holiday favorites:

Listening to the carols my parents played: Crosby, Sinatra, Cole, Ives...and of course The Muppets with John Denver! Maria gave this CD to Aidan a couple years ago, and it immediately took me back to 256 Myrtle.

  Watching holiday classics like "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Young at Heart." Okay, maybe you never heard of that last one, but every O'Malley girl has. It may be a cheesy musical soap-opera, but after analyzing it for 30+ years, it takes on a Chekhovian depth. And it is the perfect background while wrapping presents late at night.

I don't care if it's a cliche, "It's a Wonderful Life" is my favorite movie---and was, even in high school, where I tormented loyal friends by quoting this scene of the movie ad nauseum. "...Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about...they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community..."

I so enjoy Mary and George's love story, that I am always caught offguard at how dark it gets. And then he finds Zu Zu's petals and the world is made whole again.

These are my Christmas memories: Mom's seven-layer bars, my brother Kevin's punch. New pjs on Christmas Eve. Midnight mass. A vaguely familiar guy in a red suit and fake beard. Restaging the nativity scene under our tree for endless hours. Clementines at the bottom of our stockings. A younger brother or sister (whomever was in 1st grade that year) reciting the second chapter of Luke:

While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

I'll try to come back this weekend and add new favorites, because that's the beauty of traditions. You keep some and you create new ones. The Advent wreath at the start of this post is one of our favorites, lit nightly at dinner. Though of course I can't photograph like that, and looking at this photo from 2006's Christmas Eve (note: we're toasting with Kev's punch!), I get the feeling we might need new candles this year.

Fall Recipes

I love getting an email from someone who has just read the blog. It motivates me to keep updating. I'm sure the novelty of the website will wear off in a month, but I hope to keep it going for at least a year. Thanks so much to all of you for being so kind. I'm sure the minutia of our lives isn't very compelling reading but your interest and response mean so much.

A friend just pointed out I hadn't posted a Friday Favorite this week or last. I was so excited about surprising some children in the Republic of Georgia with little bags of goodies, that I completely forgot. If you haven't read that post, please scroll down or click on "A Time To Give" under recent posts. I hope a lot of people will participate, because that means a lot of kids will receive a much needed surprise.

I'm just giving links to recipes today. I love a good recipe, especially when a friend offers it so I know it works. These are three fall favorites:

Photo: Dylan Nieman

No Knead Bread, adapted from Jim Lahey, appeared in the NYT's last year, and since then, has popped up everywhere. For good reasons--it's yummy and very easy.  One note: you need to start it the day before you want to serve it. While it doesn't take much time to make, it does take time to rise. The dough is very sticky, which shouldn't be a problem since you don't knead it, but you will have some very messy dishtowels. Lastly, if you don't want a flat bread, be sure the pot you cook it in is small enough. Oh, and I have burned myself (and my sister Elizabeth I think) while making this---which says more about me than the recipe, but watch out when pre-heating the pot.

Pioneer Woman may be the funniest woman on the internet. And her recipes aren't bad, although they are tend to be very butter-happy. These, which she eloquently calls Jalapeno Bacon thingies, are also super simple.

Finally, the greatest fall soup. Seriously, so good. It's called Chililicious, but it is really more like a tortilla soup than chili. Another funny woman, Cathy Z, posted it last spring, and I liked it so much, my family had to eat soup in the summer. If I knew how to link directly to the recipe, you could skip  all the scrapbooking stuff on that post, (though I can't understand why you'd want to), but at the end of the post she has a pdf you can download.

I'm sure it would work just as well with left-over turkey next week. Enjoy!

Recipe: Buffalo Meatloaf

A birthday filled with many favorite things: lots of little boy hugs, Thai food, and a full answering machine. Thanks for all the birthday wishes! The best part was Brian coming home early. All of us but Aidan are sniffling and sneezing, so we all crawled into bed, and Sean decided to tell us a story (about Buzz Lightyear--I mean himself---of course). Aidan followed up with another story, about Superman I think, and then Brian even told one. That is a minor miracle in itself. Major "my cup runneth over" moment.

I'm grateful for each of my 38 (gasp!) years, but I have to admit, I do hear Meg Ryan crying, "And I'm going to be 40----someday!" Only the "someday" part is a lot closer for me than it was for Sally.

This week's Friday Favorite is a recipe.

I ordered Chicago Style Italian Beef for Brian's birthday. One of ways in which Brian is more of a Chicagoan than I am: he loves Italian Beef sandwiches. I'm not really a fan of them, but I do enjoy how much Brian enjoys them. Only problem is they didn't show up. Lou's To Go ships them 2nd day Air, and I had placed the order weeks in advance. But UPS was holding it for whatever reason and it was going to arrive 4 days later. Urrr. That left me with an unplanned birthday dinner to make.

Bri is a true Irish man. He likes his meat and potatoes. He'll eat vegetables, but he's not gonna get excited about it. So I made meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I like meatloaf even less than Italian Beef, but a friend shared this recipe, which is from a local restaurant in town, for Buffalo Meatloaf. Now if you like meatloaf already, you might not like this one. Otherwise you're in for a treat:

Buck’s Grill House Buffalo Meatloaf

Ingredients:

1 cup chopped onion

½ cup chopped carrot

½ cup celery

½ cup chopped red bell pepper

¼ cup vegetable oil

¼ cup Spice Rub (see recipe)

1/3 cup catsup

1/3 cup cream

2 large eggs

2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

¾ cup rolled oats

¾ cup dry bread crumbs

1 pound ground buffalo

1 pound ground pork

Saute the onion, carrot, celery, and bell pepper in the oil until the onion is translucent. Add the Spice Rub and cook for 5 minutes longer. Spoon into a large bowl and cool to room temperature.

Add the catsup, cream, eggs, and W. sauce, oats, bread crumbs, buffalo, and pork; mix well by hand. Pack into a lightly oiled loaf pan and strike the bottom of the pan on the counter to release trapped air. Bake at 375 degrees for 1 ¼ hours or to 160 degrees on a meat thermometer.

Cool in the pan for 15 minutes. Remove to a serving plate.

Serves 8.

For Spice Rub: combine 1 tbsp each of sugar, brown sugar, chili powder, cumin, Mexican oregano, kosher salt and pepper. Add 3 tsp of paprika and mix well. Store in airtight container===use ¼ cup of each if you want to prepare a big batch.

The original recipe calls for 2 pounds of Buffalo and 8 ounces of pork, but Buffalo is a very lean (and very expensive) meat so we've gone with the even match. The key is to chop the veggies very finely.

*

The happy ending to the Italian Beef story is that they told us to refuse the UPS package, and sent a fresh order that arrived yesterday, with two free Lou Malnati's pizzas as well to make up for the delay. Now that's more my style. Yum!

Friday Favorite and more Batman & Robin

Just had to include a couple more of these two Super dudes!

This is a mom Friday Favorite: The Snack Trap

  Gramare originally gave one to Aidan. It became our standard birthday gift to every 3 year old we knew. Easy to hold, not easy to spill all over. Perfect for roadtrips. We usually keep a container in our pantry filled with cheddar bunnies, cashews, and raisins. That's our go-to snack trap mix.

We also have a tendency to lose these, but they aren't too expensive. They also offer a lid that fits over the accessible lid, which is worth getting so that the crumbs from the cup don't end up in the bottom of your backpack.

Friday Favorites: Simply Apple and iGoogle

My friend Kris, from Michigan City, was the only person I knew in college whose posters were actually framed. Kris was a grad student, and visiting her apartment was like a trip to the "real world" that awaited us. Best of all, she would return from weekends at home with gallons of apple cider, and serve it in thick, frosted glasses she kept in her freezer. I always called it liquid gold.

We've been searching for a place to take the boys apple picking here. Being from the Midwest, I can't imagine autumn without a barrel of apples in the kitchen. So far, it doesn't look like Utah is prime apple-growing country.

But we have discovered Simply Apple. It's in the cold section of your grocery store: "a pure-pressed apple juice with a fresh apple taste in every sip. It contains no artificial flavors or colors, and is never sweetened or concentrated." I think it tastes like apple cider from Michigan city: pure liquid gold (though Brian jokes it better be based on its price!).

Normally I try to stick to just water, but being pregnant, which means dehydration for me, I'm thrilled to discover these. I enjoy grapefruit juice too, and it is hard to find a non-sweetened brand. I prefer my kids get their fruit intake from fruit instead of juice, but recent studies have shown that 100% fruit juice has only positive affects and isn't a factor in childhood obesity. Of course, all things in moderation (especially at $3 a bottle). 

iGoogle has been around, but I never knew the potential it had.

My boys don't afford me much time on the computer, so I love opening one page and seeing most of what I'd want to know. You can personalize it for your needs.

My favorite tools are the stopwatch, Flylady reminders, and Google reader. I can set the stopwatch for 15 minutes, and then make some headway with our papers in the office before I let myself read email. And I can reset it so I stick to my word when I tell the boys I'll only be 10 more minutes. Flylady has great tips for staying decluttered, but her web site is one of the most clutter-filled sites out there. So I love getting one simple reminder I can act on that day. And Google reader allows me to actually read the few sites I visit daily in just 10 minutes.

So a glass of Simply Apple and 10 minutes with iGoogle, and I'm good to go!

Friday Favorites Intro

My friend Angie jokingly refers to an imaginary site called dokrecommends.com, because I love to share my enthusiasm for new discoveries. You've inspired me, Angie, because on Friday's, it now exists.

When I worked at the UA, we all thrived on sharing ideas and info with each other. I felt good about contributing that spirit to Crater's English department. Eight of us shared one large office, and if DB or Ed discovered a great poem, they'd read it aloud at lunch. James might bring in a CD to play for us. Or a new novel would get passed along to each of us. Or we'd make each other copies of a new assignment that had worked well.

I miss the daily interaction of having coworkers. Yet I'm incredibly lucky to have Brian as my partner, as well as five sisters (albeit in four different states), the community of friends I have here, and my close friends who are long-distance. I don't know of anything as challenging as raising a family and running a home, and love when I get a tip or idea or even just inspiration that makes it feel a little easier---or reminds me that I'm not alone in trying to balance all these roles.

So Friday favorites are just that: the latest thing I'm excited about, often trivial, and probably old news to many.  I strive to avoid much of our consumer-crazy culture, but I still get joy out of discovering a great new product:-)

All of which is a long-winded way to introduce my next post. Every Friday I'll try to update with recent or classic favorites.