in the common hours

4 Months

At four months, Nolan...

* is 17 lbs. 14 oz and 26 inches. He's in the 95% for length, weight and head circumference now. At least he's consistent:-)

* is just a lovable, happy guy. I'll be coming back to this post to add a little indulgent video of him laughing. Because I love it.

*Lights up when his dad comes in the room.

*Wiggles with glee when Aidan tries to practice saying "A-i-d-a-n" with him.

*Smiles at Sean but also nervously looks around to make sure other people are in the room (okay, maybe I'm just projecting that last bit...especially after finding Sean trying to feed Nolan a peanut the other day).

*has celebrated his baptism

*met and loved his Grandma O'Malley 

*slept through the 4th of July firework display

*has been to Arches (again), hiking a bit of Bill's Canyon, Mill Creek (again), the diner, 2 parks, and on a crazy walk that turned into a run so as to escape the mosquito onslaught.

*has tolerated the total disruption of whatever nap schedule he once had so that his big brothers can go to swim lessons every day.

*Rolled over for the first time on July 7th. Tummy to back.

*loves to taste his toys and give them a good chew.

* went from sleeping 10 hrs straight for weeks (8pm-5am), to now waking up around 2am for a late-night snack. What is up with that??

*Can pull himself up with his front arms to look around (he's been greeting us this way from the crib for a while, but Aidan had never seen him do it until this photo shoot. He was so excited and said, "Mom, he's learning to crawl! Wait, I've gotta get Sean to see this!" Love the brotherly enthusiasm.)

Bittersweet month. Really the end of infanthood. The first three months are in many ways an extension of pregnancy---you are so physically attached to each other still. It's good to break out of that cocoon, but I miss it a little too. The way you could fall asleep anywhere (you're much more choosy now). But if I don't focus on looking backwards, this is really the best age. 

You're still immobile and unable to cause any trouble, but your personality is at full volume. You delight in us the way we delight in you, what could be more wonderful. Smiles, laughter, actual hugs. You love when we bury our heads into your neck for a good kiss. When I open your palm, there is always a piece of my hair there. Love the way you tuck your head into me when you're tired. The way you splash in the tub.

 Loving every minute of this miracle third trip through babyville.

Baptism Day

I love this image (from a card Angie originally sent Sean for his baptism), and how it captures the sense of a community lifting a child up together. The idea of baptism washing away "Original Sin" from an infant has always seemed ridiculous to me, but I embrace it as a ritual. A welcoming into a community that will support this newest one on his personal journey of faith.

Today was Nolan's Christening, and I'll add photos later this week, but I just want to remember a few details. How Brian managed to fit him into Aidan's baptismal outfit, despite my being convinced it was too small (taking it off was definitely more challenging). Seeing the three older guys in our family all dressed in white shirts (freshly ironed by Gramare) and ties. Sweet phone calls this morning from friends who couldn't make it and from Nolan's godparents in Illinois. Our beautiful church---this was the first service in it since the remodeling finished, and the fresh newness of it, with lots of natural light pouring in, seemed specifically made for a baptism.

Yellow roses and irises on the altar. Sean thrilled to see his buddies and favorite girls.  Tearing up during "On Eagle's Wings" (which was worth all the drama last week with the organist who doesn't know it). Our friends of different faiths and practices taking the time to join in our celebration (that meant SO much to me). Nolan sleeping through most of the service, and then wide-eyed with curiosity while water was poured on his head.

All the children holding sunflowers while we sang, "Like a Sunflower". The cake from the women of St. Claire's Guild. A friend taking my camera when I realized at the very last second that I couldn't both participate and take photos of the baptism.

Kids in swimsuits in the backyard, yelling and running and splashing (all will sleep well tonight). Brian standing over the grill. Amy rescuing us from a ketchup-shortage:-). Good tunes on the deck with the new mist-er cooling us down. Kathy's yummy dessert bars.  The way everyone pitches in so it is never over-whelming. Nolan kindly sleeping while we ate. Sweet gifts and cards. A phone call from my dad and my mom.

And then Dylan, a neighborhood friend of Aidan's, showing up hours later, while we were enjoying taped Sunday political round-tables and leftovers for dinner, sad to learn the party was over.

A good day. I am so grateful.

3 Months

At three months, Nolan...

* is 16.5 lbs & 25", with beautiful rolly-polly thighs. I laugh when I hear people say, "He's so healthy-looking." Yes, he's chubby and I hope he enjoys the 24 months of life you are allowed to be as chubby as you want with impunity.

* can almost fit his entire hand into his mouth. He's too young to be teething already, right?

* likes to make Daddy waltz him around the room when he's cranky

* loves pulling my hair. When nursing or falling asleep, he'll grip it like a security blanket and wrap it around his wrist.

* is delighting his brothers by delighting in them. He seems especially fond of Aidan's rendition of "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting." When Sean gets a big smile, he sounds like he's imitating Sally Field: "Nolan likes me! He really likes me!"

(Please overlook the wonky coloring...I am PSE-impaired at this time)

* does not, repeat, not like Jamie Oliver's Asian Noodle Salad

(Sidenote: My little sis is about to have her 1st baby any day, and I was giving her Too Much Information about said salad's affect on lil Nolan when she said, "What have I gotten myself into?"  We couldn't stop laughing, me especially, because I realized she wasn't as worried about how to care for a constipated baby as she was worried about becoming someone who talked about her baby's constipation. Now I've blogged about it as well, which will horrify her further and hopefully make her laugh even harder---and induce labor. Since I've already shared so much (how many mistakes in judgment begin with that phrase), you might as well know that today I left Brian a voice-message at work---because I hate for him to miss out on the exciting moments of my day--that announced "We Have Poop!"  I thought phrasing it like that would make it sound less SAHM-ish and more NASA-like; what I couldn't have predicted was that he'd listen to his messages via speaker phone. Another proud moment.)

* is sleeping 8 consecutive hours at night :-)  Stays awake about 2 hrs between naps during the day. He slept 10 hours one night.

* may have laughed out loud. I haven't seen verifiable proof but Uncle Kevin definitely got a reaction when tickling Nolan's feet and Brian gets a laugh when clapping Nolan's hands together. I think he's still slightly on the cusp of true laughter.

* enjoys walks in a stroller, swinging, and gazing at ceiling fans (That sounds like a really bad personal ad)

* coos and talks with animated expressions. Made a clear "Da" sound tonight.

* went to Flagstaff, Aidan's graduation, a few T-ball games, Zac's pizza, Arches National Park, the microbrewery, Sean's music class, the art fair, and more.

* met his Aunt Mimi and Uncle Denys, Uncle Kevin, and the whole Rockow family this month

*is so lovable, kissable, and cute right now, I wish I could freeze time. I wouldn't want him to stay this age forever, but I do wish I could revisit it whenever I wanted.

Material Mama

"I spoke to a woman with a masters in finance-- and all she wanted to talk about was her diaper genie."  -Miranda, "Sex and the City"

To care for a baby, you really don't need much of anything. A car seat if you have  a car, somewhere for the baby to sleep, diapers, and some clothes for the baby. This is not a post about what you need.

I like to think of myself as a non-material girl. I spend more on books than I ever would on shoes.  Brian and I were together for years before we owned a car, for a decade before we owned a TV. I truly believe less IS more. But put a Pottery Barn Baby catalog in front of me, and I'll get misty-eyed.

My latest favorite discovery is Bebe au Lait, or as they are more widely known, Hooter Hiders. In the "old days" (about 2 wks ago for me), if you needed to nurse in public and maintain some privacy, you'd use a receiving blanket thrown over your shoulder. There were three problems with this.

1. The baby would pull the blanket down at random moments.
2. In the summer, the blanket would feel uncomfortably warm for you and the baby.
3. You couldn't see under the blanket, which makes proper latch a challenge.

This nursing cover solves all three---it can't be pulled down, it is made of super light material (and even has a terry-cloth corner pocket for convenience), and, best of all, it has a rigid neckline sewn-in, so that you and your baby can see each other the whole time. Maybe in a perfect world, there would be no need for covers of any kind, but in this world, I feel more comfortable nursing with a little privacy. They come in beautiful patterns~mine is black and white. Love it!

Target has started carrying them too. I imagine a lot end up on Ebay after the baby is weaned.

And, since Miranda mentioned it, we prefer the diaper champ over the diaper genie. I feel bad enough about not using cloth diapers; the long plastic sausage of diapers would put me over the edge. The champ is much simpler---Sean can toss diapers in there for me:-)  Still, poopy diapers go immediately in the outside trash can because I don't think anything can really fight that odor.

These are Nolan's pacifiers of choice. He's not very keen on any pacifier (at least when held by me, Bri tells a different story), but these are one piece, so there aren't icky corners to clean out. Safe silicone, latex free.

We're fans of the Baby Bjorn, our swing, and this little ducky we use once our babies can sit up. You don't waste a lot of water (as you would filling a tub for 6 month old) and the sides are soft. Best $10 I've spent.

 This isn't our exact swing, but it has the most important feature, an open top so you can easily lift baby out without worrying about his head. We've never used the toy tray that came with ours, and I find all mechanical music annoying. Equally annoying are the toys people insist on dangling in front of a newborn's face. Maybe when they're older, but babies just want to look at people (and ceiling fans). If you have a swing, you don't need a bouncy chair, and vice versa.

Probably my favorite thing we purchased when expecting our first is our glider. It is a cheap chair from Sears or JC Penny's, but I've nursed all 3 boys in it and read many a story with a boy on my lap in it. Even cheap chairs aren't cheap, but it is a splurge that I found worth it.

On the opposite end, things I wouldn't recommend are baby wash cloths. They're too small and feel so cheaply made---same with most baby towels, especially those hooded ones. Cute but flimsy. A quality towel is better. Nothing seemed to provoke my boys' eczema more than those washcloths.

Also those small burp cloths that are only 4 inches wide. Useless. I recommend prefolded diapers or Gerber's burp cloths that are as wide as a cloth diaper.

We also liked, for the slightly older baby, our Roo Baby plastic bib with the pouch, our backpack diaper bag (we stole the idea from Angie and got one from Lands End that came with a changing pad...don't think they still make theirs, but it is great to have arms free when traveling with a babe), and Joseph Garcia's Sign with your Baby series, as well as Signing Time DVDs. I still believe being able to communicate with sign language saved our boys a lot of frustrations and tantrums.

Parents enjoy preparing for a baby's arrival, and companies know this. Be wary---so much is marketed that is unnecessary (hello, wipe warmers and baby comforters?!). And one person's favorite item might be a complete waste to another.

I'll leave comments on for a change so you can share your favorite baby shower gift or what you found most useful/useless when you became a parent. Please share your favorites!

2 months old

Last Monday Nolan reached the 2-month mark, and we missed his dr. appointment that afternoon. It's just been that kind of week/month/year.  I'll add info this afternoon after his makeup appointment.

We have bets on, thinking Nolan is the biggest of our 3 boys at this age. He's got beautiful rolls on his thighs and a sizable second chin:-) He's already outgrown most of his 0-3 Months clothes, and is wearing size 2 diapers.

He's also gaining more neck strength and arm control. He loves being in his swing, for short spurts, and gazing at the toys hanging from his car seat during our meals. He slept from 9 pm until 4 am one night, seven hours straight! Of course he hasn't had a good night's sleep since then; he's been waking up uncomfortable with a stuffy nose every couple hours.

He's smiling like crazy now, though I can only capture the shadow of it once I put a camera in front of my face. He's on the verge of laughing, big wide open smiles and shooting his chin in the air, so ready to laugh. And cooing while looking us in the eye, trying to communicate. He was doing this last week while Aidan teased him with a rattle toy and I started talking in a funny voice, translating what I thought he was trying to say. Both boys thought it was hilarious, and Sean keeps trying to recreate that moment, holding a toy in front of Nolan's face and then saying, "Talk like Nolan, Mommy."

I've had several posts rattling around in my brain, with recipes I'd like to share and recaps with great visits we've had this week...but they'll all have to wait. So grateful just to have captured this moment a bit.

ETA: 14 lbs, 2 oz 13 oz., and 24", which is roughly 95% in weight and 90% in length...and the boy's head is huge: 16 1/2". But the doctor mostly commented on how strong he is (already lifting his head, etc), especially for his size (I guess big babies are often behind on motor skill strength precisely because the head is so big).  

"We teach our children

one thing only,

as we were taught:

to wake up." - Annie Dillard

Blessings & Random Notes

Sean couldn't be a sweeter big brother, though he often could be a quieter big brother.

Brian went back to work on Monday, and I was surprised how many people called during the week to check in on how we were doing:-)  I am blessed with good friends.

We were incredibly lucky to have had Brian home for Nolan's first month. He made the decision to take off four weeks after the birth of each of our sons. Priceless. When I think of Aidan, Sean, and Nolan someday becoming fathers like their dad, I feel so good about humanity's future:-)

 

Current nicknames for Nolan: cutie-pie, jelly bean, Nolie, and Hic-cup, because he gets them at least once a day.

A very Happy-Mail week. A blanket from my sister Karen who celebrated her birthday this week too. She also sent her very first emails, with help from her speech-pathologist,  and they sounded just like Kay in person. Each one made mention of her birthday--totally cracked me up! 

I received a box full of yellow from one of my favorite people on the planet---a beautiful letter on beautiful yellow paper, with the world's best lemon bars and some yellow jammies, for me not for Nolan:^)

A few weeks ago I asked Molly, from Foothill Home Companion, how she made her pin cushion-in-a-cup.  Photo by Molly Dunham

Instead of just sending the directions, she sent me a cup of my own that arrived this week. Love the kindness of strangers:-) And the sight of this little cup on my sewing table is motivation enough to get all the piles of paper off of it and start learning to sew!

Someone asked where we got Sean's cute tie from this cute photo:

It's made by Dainty Couture. Check out her etsy store---they are made so well, and super comfortable (I'm going to have to order more because both big boys want to wear it). I actually won it as a giveaway from Kid Haus:-)

By request, I'm deleting the end of this post. So if you're arriving late, you missed out on a very cute photo of one very neurotic girl.

One Month Old

On Saturday, Nolan reached the one month mark.

Some notes for my ever-vanishing memory: at this point, he...

*weighs 10 lbs and 12 oz

*measures 21 inches

*delights us with smiles

*cracks up his brothers by sticking his tongue out, "tooting," and looking anywhere close to their direction:-)

*loves staring at our bookcase (is he an O'Malley or what?)

*does not enjoy diaper changes or his bath (yet...trying the latter again tomorrow)

*sleep preferences in order are:

1. Mom or Dad's arms
2. Mom & Dad's bed, lying between them
3. car seat
4. swing
5. anywhere but his crib or bassinet

That's not completely fair, because he has been doing better each day. I imagine some moms, who enjoy the shared bed, giving me that wide-eye look that says, "How can you expect him to sleep all alone at this age?"

And I imagine other moms, the ones who have their babies sleeping through the night by this age, giving the same wide-eye look, only theirs says, "It's your own fault for creating bad sleep habits."

I also think that is how the majority of the "mommy wars" happen---in our own imaginations, based on our ambivalence and guilt, which, regardless of one's choices, are always plentiful in motherhood.  We've chosen this middle road; so though I might complain about being tired, I'm relishing it too.    

oh, and one more...

* gets even cuter with each day

The Best of Times & the Worst of Times

  That about sums up the newborn stage, doesn't it? So fleeting, you want to soak it all in and memorize every little roll on your baby's thigh, but you are so sleep deprived that you dream about the day all your children can buckle their own car seats.

Just deleted two very whiny paragraphs about my frustration in all that I haven't been able to accomplish lately. Fascinating details like the fact that I'm still in my jammies, that said jammies have spit up on them, and that these same jammies spent less than 3 hours in my bed last night. Time to let go of a lot of expectations, let the bathroom floors wait a few more days, etc.  I have an inbox full of emails to reply to, which makes me a little crazy. While holding Nolan, I definitely find it easier to read emails  than to type them. So bear with me if I owe you a reply, and keep writing. Feels like 101 things are on hold, which is how it should be...but knowing that doesn't always make it easier.

Meanwhile...some things to make you smile:

A friend sent an excerpt from a book called "Porn for New Moms":

Everything this guy does makes me laugh:

Finally, after mentioning my lack of "craftiness" in a post on favorite blogs, I received this sweet image from a friend. Totally cracked me up:

I started writing this early in the morning; it is already after lunch. We are in our own little time-zone here. Already things look brighter though. I just have to choose where to look. I could focus on all the thank you notes that have yet to be written, or just be thankful for sweet gifts from family and far-away friends. I could worry about the serving dishes I have yet to return, or just be grateful for sweet friends that brought us incredibly good meals during Nolan's first week.

Instead of noticing how Bri does things differently than I would, or buys different brands/products than I would (I admit, I do and I comment on it too--but come on, OreIda Frozen french fries?!), I could just note that he has done all the grocery shopping this month, and usually taking Aidan or Sean with him as well. He's also made numerous meals, and done all the dishes. I hate doing dishes if I made the meal. He's doing more than I even realize, and I am grateful.

Still, that doesn't mean I don't send him dirty looks at 3 am if he's snoring while I get up again:^)

The key for me is seeing my perspective as a choice, as a "could" and not a "should."  Nothing makes me more stubborn than "should". "Could" means options. It means taking some time to whine isn't something I "shouldn't" do, but I could choose something much better.

 

Today I'm grateful for the bulbs blooming in our yard, for new tunes my sister Erin sent; for the brown-paper-package that arrived today from a recent book exchange; for crushed ice; for how thrilled Aidan and Sean are at the prospect of making smoothies; for how patient Brian is when I dissolve into tears at the slightest teasing (seriously, though, he should know better!); for wine on a patio with girl friends; and most of all for this:

I didn't get the shot. It's out of focus. But the important thing is that he's started to smile. Spit-up jammies don't mean a thing when a baby starts smiling back at you.

Two Weeks

If you're a mom, you might remember that the goal of the two-week doctor appointment is to have the baby's weight back up to the birth weight. Babies usually lose weight in the hospital, while their moms worry about when their milk will "come in" (Daily, sometimes hourly it seems, nurses ask you, "Has your milk come in?" Like it is out having a smoke outside somewhere...).

Today was Nolan's 2-week appointment. When we left the hospital, he weighed 7lbs 12 oz (down from his original weight of 8lbs 7.5 ounces). Today he weighed...

(drum roll) 

8lbs. 10 oz.

Remember the scene in "Cast Away" when Tom Hanks starts a fire and thumps his chest while yelling: "Look what I have created. I have made FIRE!"

That's how you feel when your baby grows and you know somehow your body has provided him with the nourishment to do so. It's pretty cool.

(and yes, that top photo is the main reason I wanted an SLR camera--thank you again, Bri. It took three babies to do it, but we finally got a toe shot in focus!)