in the common hours

Moment by moment

Trying to turn around my perspective. Trying to not feel overwhelmed by the need to do lots of laundry today, make it to library time, a kids book fair, and the grocery store, make lunch--and then dinner, finish the baby's room (finally!), prep for Aidan's bday bash this weekend, and follow up on commitments like creating a web site for free (what was I thinking??)...Meanwhile my nesting instincts are in full force and I just want to spend the day redoing my closet and the laundry room.

I was going to say, "I can't complain because these are all things I want to do" but obviously that's not true: I'm still capable of complaining:-) 

Anyone else intimidated by the upcoming calendar? We have Aidan's birthday, followed by St. Pat's day, our 14th wedding anniversary, then Easter. That same week is spring break, and my dad's and good friend Angie's birthday. Oh, and somewhere in there, I AM HAVING A BABY!

One thing I know, and yet have to remind myself of often, is that everything in this moment is okay. It is when I leave the moment and try to imagine an entire week at once that it is overwhelming.

I'll admit I dislike the saying "God never gives you more than you can handle"...okay, more like I hate it. As if the young children in the midst of the violence happening in Sudan or Kenya at this very moment are supposed to be able to handle that, and as if everything that happens is willed by God, and imperfect human beings have nothing to do with it. But at the same time I get the intention...only for me, it is the moment that never gives you more than you can handle. Moment by moment is doable. I just need to remind myself to stay there.

Not at all what I intended to write about...but there it is.

Things for which I'm Grateful:

1. Good friends who treat a very preggo friend to a great Thai dinner and overwhelm her with their sweet generosity toward Baby Keating.
2. Sterilite boxes. Seriously. They're an addiction now.
3. Bri taking the boys for a drive Sunday so I could go through all the toys.
4. Warm weather...please don't leave us!
5. Blowing off my afternoon to-do list yesterday and heading to the park.  Sunshine is good.
6. Miles and Rayce, Sean's buddies who are just as sweet as he is. He refused to take off his Robin costume at the park, and both boys played right along, calling him "Robin" the whole time. How sweet is that?
7. This boy is almost six, and won't wear what I want him to any more, doesn't hear anything the first time he's told, and wants to close his door so Sean will leave him alone. He's growing up. But he still loves to snuggle, still runs to wave goodbye to his dad  from the front window every morning, still kisses both his brothers goodnight:-)
8. A full email box of friends and family's favorite Oscar moments/feedback.
9. Skipping library time to finish this post.
10. Sean telling me stories that all begin: "Onceuponatime"--as one word, one breath.

   

And the winner is...

Brian:-) 

With seven out of eight correct (how did Tilda Swinton win??). Closest runner-up was my brother Kevin with six. I have a DVD for you, dude. I think I offended some people, specifically siblings of mine, by naming three of them that I wanted to vote. That was only because they are the 3 I know actually read this thing, that's all! Martin checked in but didn't vote:-(  And Erin, I expected you to be at the red carpet!

Such a good show. Seriously, I love Oscar night. It's crazy, but it makes me so happy. And Jon Stewart is wonderful---best moment of the night was when he brought Marketa Irglova back on stage to finish (start) her acceptance speech. I hate when they cut people off. Loved Marion Cotilard's reaction and her dress. My one complaint was the quick mention of each best picture nominee---I like when they give each its own moment throughout the show. So many black and red gowns. Only one bad dress the whole night. So many beautiful Irish accents---James, Daniel, Glen and more. Seems as though the Cohen Brothers and Diablo Cody may have been the only American winners all night.

No one guessed our new car's color correctly. I wanted a gray or green one, but as Bri pointed out to me, neither of those would be ideal during our hot summers. So light blue it is:

It looks like a bit of a monstrosity, but I like how it drives. And coming from a 1997 Subaru, you gotta love the 47 different cup holders in this thing, as well as the radio controls on the steering wheel. Both boys love the "magic doors" ---and I love being able to send them out to the car without worrying that Sean will get hit in the head by a side door:-)

I can't handle the comments thing. Typepad tells you how many "views" you've had of a post, and Clicky provides a google map of who came by that day:

87 different people visited the site since I put up the Oscar post and only 10 people commented. Which is completely their/your right---I read blogs via Google Reader and rarely comment. But the teacher in me feels like I'm standing in front of the room saying, "Anyone? Anyone?"

And I really wanted to know who some of those people are in states I don't recognize (okay, I recognize the states, just don't who living there might be reading...you know what I mean). My curiosity thanks two visitors, Heather and Jessica, for commenting on the car post.

For my sanity, I'll leave the comments off, but please feel free to email a comment. If I wanted to be really healthy, I'd boycott Typepad stats as well. I began this venture saying it was mainly for me, and it is...but it's still nice to know who is out there.

Finally, in honor of our winner, here are some photos of him trying to avoid being seen driving a mini-van:-)

Oscar

Look at this--two posts in a row with comments open!

In the home I grew up in, Oscars night was the equivalent of Super Bowl Sunday in other homes. For years, even after all but the youngest had left home, Kev would still send out ballots and tally the winner among us.

So, regardless of how few movies you've seen (we never let that stop us!), I want to know your vote. Especially Mimi, Liz and Kevin. Whomever has the most correct out of the 8 categories below wins a DVD and popcorn:-)

My picks, based on my preferences & random guesses, are in green. Please list yours under comments. Here are the main nominations (you have to guess in each of these categories to win!):

Best Picture: Atonement, Juno, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Michael Clayton

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett; Ellen Page; Julie Christie; Laura Linney; Marion Cotilard

Best Actor: George Clooney; Daniel Day-Lewis; Viggo Mortensen; Johnny Depp; Tommy Lee Jones

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett; Ruby Dee; Amy Ryan; Tilda Swinton; Saoirse Ronan (I realize she has no chance and zero buzz, but I think she was perfect in a difficult role that was so essential to the film)

Best Supporting Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman; Casey Affleck; Hal Holbrook; Tom Wilkinson; Javier Bardem (that last guy is expected to win, I'd love to see Casey win, but I vote for PSH because he's brilliant and the only thing I liked about "Charlie Wilson's War")

Best Director: Julian Schnabel; Paul Thomas Anderson; Joel & Ethan Cohen; Tony Gilroy; Jason Reitman

Best Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton, "Atonement"; Sarah Polley, "Away from Her"; Ronald Harwood, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood" (Hardest category for me---I could see any of them win deservedly).

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, "Juno"; Nancy Oliver, "Lars and the Real Girl"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava and Jim Capobianco, "Ratatouille"; Tamara Jenkins, "The Savages."

And if "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (the song that has been playing on this blog since V-day, from the Irish film, "Once") doesn't win BEST SONG, then...well, I guess I really have no great threat to make the Academy. Having ignored all of Eddie Vedder's songs from "Into the Wild", they obviously aren't out to please me.

But hopefully you are! Give me your two cents and winners from the car game and Oscar game will both be posted on Monday. And here's to great montages and at least one surprise win on Sunday night. 

Home Again

Ten Things I'm Grateful for from this Weekend:

10. That I married a man who enjoys driving. I don't enjoy driving, so despite how circa-1950s it makes me seem, I love that he does all the driving on roadtrips.

9. That while Olive Garden might not be the most exciting place to eat in the big city, its kids menu actually resembles something kids eat at home: pasta, chicken, broccoli. And the breadsticks keep everyone happy till the food arrives.

8. That Brian took both boys swimming in the hotel pool while I got to nap and read by myself.

7. That Sean pretty much slept all the way home. Thank you, Sean.

6. That Aidan might grow up and not remember how impatient his mom, who was trying to imitate Sean on the drive home, was when he'd wake her to point out the moon, or inform her of the superhero powers contained in his pinkie, or to ask what wood is make out of.

5. IKEA. When you only have access to it once a year or so, those cheap containers seem so much more special.

4. Sharing an ice cream sundae with two cute boys.

3. The large cardboard box sent by our friend Kris. She was sending us back our baby swing, but the box was the hit of Saturday. After coloring it and recruiting his dad to cut a door and window, Aidan would fit his entire self inside and say, "Mom, guess where I am?" "Where?" "I'm IN THE BOX!"

2. Not to brag, but my bladder did an amazing job on our road trip. A few weeks from giving birth, that is no small thing.

1. That we didn't come home with our same old Subaru.

Care to make a guess as to what we drove home? You can list make or model below, but the winner is the one who can guess what color the car is (because that's all I usually know about a car). Some happy mail to the winner.

Here's a hint: before we left, I told Bri that while color was not a high priority, there was one color I'd rather not get. And that's what we got...but it's growing on me already.

Joy and Sorrow

Lots of sweetness here this week, with these two cute little boys totally getting into the holiday---not to mention their cute father, who completely surprised me with this. Flowers, chocolate, and photo software---how well this man knows me!

A sad end to a beautiful day when I saw the headline "Gun Shooter on Illinois Campus" online---I couldn't breathe for a second. My brother is a junior at the University of Illinois, and my little sister is getting her graduate degree at another Illinois campus. By now everyone knows it took place at Northern Illinois University, less than a mile from where yet another sister lives. An auditorium of freshmen and sophomores. Just unthinkable. I can't bring myself to really think of their parents, only pray they find strength and peace somehow.

Something else that made me cry--this post by Julie's husband Brendan. I don't believe everything happens for a reason, and I don't believe everything is a coincidence either. But I do believe miracles happen daily---whenever a heart receives what it needs. I'm so grateful to him for sharing that story.

Happy Valentine's Day

Our very first photo together. In a canoe. Taken by Bri. October 1990.

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." -Rumi

It may be a Hallmark holiday, but it's a good one. Wishing you time today to delight in chocolate, in laughter, and in the ones you love.

One Month from Today

This photo, by Carrie Sandoval, is from barebaby, a beautiful site all about photographing babies.

I feel pressure to master the different modes on my camera before the little man makes his grand entrance to the world. But that ain't gonna happen...I'll just be happy if I have my office organized, his room all ready, and a few meals in the freezer.

One month. Even with Leap day this year, still the shortest month of all. I want time to savor the final days of being a family of four, to prepare for the whirlwind March always is (with Easter, our anniversary, and lots of family birthdays), and to finish several projects so I can be fully present with this little one.

And at the same time, I wish he were already in my arms.

Now back to the goal...

of writing shorter posts.

If, like me, you've wanted to know how to make a border in PSE, Susan Weinroth generously shares a little tutorial here, as well as lots of photo inspiration on her blog. 

Recent showings

We saw a lot of movies this month, in thanks to Mary Alice (we're almost done, MA...package in the mail this week!). I finally put our Netflix account on hold since those dvds were just sitting neglected. Juno was easily my favorite...just look at that picture! Could Michael Cera have less of an ego? I'm sure all the hype will ruin it for many people, but I loved it---such a fresh take, with a female character that we rarely see in movies---smart, quirky, flawed and funny.

I didn't like the Mira Nair version of The Namesake, though several friends who hadn't read the book did--so maybe it works better that way. As with Hysterical Blindness, I enjoyed listening to Nair's commentary more than the actual movie. She is such a visual storyteller, and I love learning how decisions were made and that feeling of "seeing behind the curtain" of the wizard. My main complaints: the missing story of Ashima's preparation for her first return trip to India, one of my favorite parts of the novel; casting Kal Penn or at least losing the repressed and controlled nature of Gogol. And a minor point, but Ashoke would never have playfully whispered Ashima's name through the door as portrayed in the movie. While it later made sense as a scene straight from Nair's personal life, it didn't fit these two characters.

Enjoyed Atonement, but didn't LOVE it. My brother Kevin, who had to deal with older sisters all trying to brainwash him with their favorites, finally put his foot down when he was 12 or so and declared, "No more movies with British accents!" I got teased among friends, probably deservedly so, for prefacing my distaste for this movie by sharing that I went through a major Merchant & Ivory stage when I was in high school, but it was true, and at this age, I finally relate to Kevin's frustration. Lovely houses and grounds, lovely flowing dresses and tea being served, but enough already.

That said, James McAvoy (whom we enjoyed in "Starter for Ten" last year) was captivating as the housekeeper's son who attempts to cross class lines via an education. I could see what the movie was attempting to do in its Dante-inspired, seriously-long-one-take scene at Dunkirk, and if nothing else, the self-conscious technique led me to connect the essential questions of the movie/book (the power of storytelling and of lies, and the use of both to make right of wrongs...) with the great price England paid in WWII.

I really wanted to like Waitress, but didn't. Probably more a sign of my own limitations---I could see what the movie was trying to do, to play outside the box---of being realistic or playful or fantasy. But I couldn't make that leap and so wanted it to choose which reality it took place in. This isn't Austen's England or even America in the 1950's, so money is no excuse for staying with a  man you hate.

Loved The Great Debaters. With these two in it, how could I not?  

My favorite moment---when the youngest debater returns home after that drive through hell and runs into his father's arms.

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit we watched The Bucket List as well, and as MA put it, "the best thing I can say is that it's only as bad as I expected it to be." Actually I've always been fascinated by this idea of what you do when you know you have limited time. When I was in 8th grade, I wrote a short story---mostly plagiarized from the sappy "Six Weeks" with Mary Tyler Moore  as a mother whose daughter is terminal and they run around the world crossing things off her list. Only in my story, the girl had a younger sister who was being ignored while the family focused on the other one's list, and, of course, the youngest gets hit by a bus unexpectedly and everyone feels terrible (does that sound like a middle child's imagination or what?).

In our last year in Oregon, we lost two friends to cancer. I will always feel in debt to Richard and James because they gave us the push we needed to make changes. Not to jump out of airplanes (Bri already got me to do that when I was young and impressionable!), but to make more room in our lives for the things we cared most about. I'd like to share two links with you that contain more wisdom and inspiration that that movie even brushed on: Everyone Has a List by Leroy Sievers and One Month to Live, a post by Carrie Batt.

Ideally, if you ever received such bad news, you wouldn't do anything different really---just less of the things you "have to do" and more of things you love.

Rule #1: The Mom Is Not Allowed To Get Sick

Even though it takes human offspring a very long time to figure out just how to navigate or eat, they are all born knowing this rule as absolute.

Mom is not supposed to get sick.

I've broken the rule. I blame it on Aidan's doctor, and my own ridiculous susceptibility to the power of suggestion. Aidan has had a fever and no appetite or energy since Superbowl Sunday. I knew as soon as I scheduled a doctor appointment, the fever would finally break, which it did but now he has a horrible cough. The innocent doctor asked me how I felt. After two weeks spent wiping noses and holding feverish little ones, I was proud to say, "Fine, just a bit of a cough," and she said, "Wow, that's surprising. Normally when you're pregnant you get everything."

By the time we got home, I was burning up.

And I blame that fever-induced state for my act of slight insanity this morning. I had promised the boys that we would stop by the library to pick out a video for our Friday night movie, not knowing our local library had decided to close till noon today. Such a small town move, reminding me of Selikhino village, where everything would close down unexpectedly and you'd realize, "someone must be selling eggs or something" and go searching for the scene yourself.

It was only 9:30 am, so neither of the video rental stores were open, and two boys who were already not feeling great and set on the idea of a video in their hands NOW were getting restless. So I got us all some not-so-hot cocoa to go and ventured into the local grocery store, and somehow allowed them to convince me to buy a DVD.

We don't buy DVDs.

We own plenty--mostly gifts and an Easter basket tradition, but I can't remember the last DVD we bought.

Not only did I buy a DVD, but it was an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.   

I know, I must be seriously ill.

In an effort to be more positive, I have to say it helps having seen Aidan already come out of this fog. That way we know it only feels like death, and it too shall pass. And, once again, I have to say thanks to God and the Universe and whoever it is up there that likes me, because my husband is the best. He just got home from a day of driving back from SLC, and is just as sick now too, and still completely took over the reigns when he walked in the door. Alleluia!

I'm going to keep typing because once I stop I'll just go back to noticing how crappy I feel and worrying that my cough is scaring the little one inside me. So, I'm going to talk about favorite web sites.

There are so many websites out there for inspiration on being creative, especially with kids. My favorite so far is Lori's site at Camp Creek Press. That's where I  got the idea to use quart-size paint cans to store much of Aidan's supplies. I also just discovered The Artful Parent, which looks good. Today's post features Amanda Soule, from SouleMama, whose website I first discovered via Ali Edwards and which has led to more than I can possibly read---but it is just nice knowing there are all those mommas out there choosing to slow down, ignore much of what our culture overvalues, and encourage creativity. Ali's site will always be a favorite---probably the first blog I ever read. She's in Oregon with a son the same age as Aidan and always inspires me.

Going to go cozy up to some tea and that man I was thanking the heavens for now...enjoy the weekend!