in the common hours

4 Months

At four months, Nolan...

* is 17 lbs. 14 oz and 26 inches. He's in the 95% for length, weight and head circumference now. At least he's consistent:-)

* is just a lovable, happy guy. I'll be coming back to this post to add a little indulgent video of him laughing. Because I love it.

*Lights up when his dad comes in the room.

*Wiggles with glee when Aidan tries to practice saying "A-i-d-a-n" with him.

*Smiles at Sean but also nervously looks around to make sure other people are in the room (okay, maybe I'm just projecting that last bit...especially after finding Sean trying to feed Nolan a peanut the other day).

*has celebrated his baptism

*met and loved his Grandma O'Malley 

*slept through the 4th of July firework display

*has been to Arches (again), hiking a bit of Bill's Canyon, Mill Creek (again), the diner, 2 parks, and on a crazy walk that turned into a run so as to escape the mosquito onslaught.

*has tolerated the total disruption of whatever nap schedule he once had so that his big brothers can go to swim lessons every day.

*Rolled over for the first time on July 7th. Tummy to back.

*loves to taste his toys and give them a good chew.

* went from sleeping 10 hrs straight for weeks (8pm-5am), to now waking up around 2am for a late-night snack. What is up with that??

*Can pull himself up with his front arms to look around (he's been greeting us this way from the crib for a while, but Aidan had never seen him do it until this photo shoot. He was so excited and said, "Mom, he's learning to crawl! Wait, I've gotta get Sean to see this!" Love the brotherly enthusiasm.)

Bittersweet month. Really the end of infanthood. The first three months are in many ways an extension of pregnancy---you are so physically attached to each other still. It's good to break out of that cocoon, but I miss it a little too. The way you could fall asleep anywhere (you're much more choosy now). But if I don't focus on looking backwards, this is really the best age. 

You're still immobile and unable to cause any trouble, but your personality is at full volume. You delight in us the way we delight in you, what could be more wonderful. Smiles, laughter, actual hugs. You love when we bury our heads into your neck for a good kiss. When I open your palm, there is always a piece of my hair there. Love the way you tuck your head into me when you're tired. The way you splash in the tub.

 Loving every minute of this miracle third trip through babyville.

On the bright side

...our boys are all at the magical age where the most comfortable spot on the planet is their mom and dad's bed.

...my mom came to visit for the 1st time since we moved here. Such a blessing to have her healthy and for my kids to get a good dose of Grandma.

Lots of good memories from her short visit, but my favorite was when she pulled a lawn chair up next to the kid pool while Aidan showed off his diving moves to her. He relished having her give him a score on each dive. It started out on a scale from 1 to 10, but when I came back out again, she was telling him, "200!"

...Grandma's hands. I love this photo, possibly because I miss my own Nana's hands so much and would love to have had a photo like this of her with me.

 

...the kindness of strangers who ask if we'd like a photo of all of us together.

...hearing a real laugh when his dad tries to eat his toes. Love that game;-)

...the way these two crack each other up ALL day long.

...impromptu jam sessions in the backyard.

...the woman who came up to me after mass today to comment on how Nolan looks at Brian. So true. He can't get enough of his dad.

The same woman proceeded to share with me the story of one of her friends, who married into a family that hasn't "sired a female in over 100 years." She's told me this story, with much greater detail, at least four times before, but it was only today that I realized she's much older than I thought, and has no memory of previously telling me. Obviously the sight of me with my three boys compels her to share it with me. Did I cut her off last time? Will I be able to give her the little delight she obviously takes from telling it next time?

...the progress this little guy is making in using the bathroom (because I know you're dying to hear all about that!)

...Brian being home for the 4th of July (photo above is from last year's 4th).

With the fires waging in CA, we've been preparing for his exit any moment. Truth told: I hate it. I don't have the personality or disposition to be a "fire wife". I find the anticipation of him leaving almost as exhausting as the single parenting after he's left (almost). Hate worrying about him, hate not knowing when he'll be returning, hate knowing that when he does get home, he still might have to leave any minute. Despite all that, I still like him a lot, and he still likes fighting fire (even though he promised me he'd grow out of it years ago), so here we are.

Had he been gone, we would have gone to the parade anyway, but given that the parade is less than 5 minutes long, and I'm usually at least that late, I doubt we'd have seen it. And then he wouldn't have been there to catch the collapsing bouncy house or to hear Aidan tell him with pride how he sunk a teenager with his fastball at the dunking booth. And when we all decided it was too hot and muggy to stay and eat at the park, he wouldn't have been there to somehow grill up dinner in less than 30 minutes. And Aidan and Sean wouldn't have been given the chance to freak out their mom by dancing around lighting fireworks... if he hadn't been here.

So I'll take what time this fire season gives us and say thank you. Not graciously, no. With the same old resentment and reluctance and the exhaustion that comes from not wanting to be a brat on the same day he might leave. But still, ultimately, grateful.

What am I doing here?

That's been the question in my head every time I've attempted to start a post in the last week or so.

Whenever I take a short break from the site, I find it difficult to post, start questioning the whole effort, and have to remind myself why I'm doing this.

The original idea was to continue the blog until Nolan's first birthday, and I plan to stick to that...at least I think I do.

I like how little things get captured here that I might otherwise have forgotten. I like how blogs make the world a little smaller and connect like-minded people. I like sharing random things that I enjoy. I love the way it combines words and photos. I love the way it motivates me to pick up the camera more.

I'll share what I don't like when I pack the whole thing up:-)

So now I just need to sum up the last few weeks and get those random posts down that have been wandering around my head. Lots of photos to come, a few kid quotes, a recipe and a random contest.  Assuming I get back to the computer this week.

Meanwhile...here's a recent favorite photo :

It's dark and if I knew how to use PSE better, I'd tweak it a bit, but I love that Brian reached for the camera last Saturday while the boys were watching cartoons and all snuggled with me on the couch. Pjs, blankies, and one with a pacifier. These are the days...and that's why I'll keep doing whatever it is I'm doing here, even if I'm not 100% sure of what that is.

Happy Independence Day!

So grateful for the privilege to have been born here. May we be better stewards to this amazing land and to the vision of those amazing men and women in 1776!

Thanks, Anne, for the link to Kate Smith, but for my sisters, I also have to include this version from one of my all-time favorite movies: